Devotion (boyxboy)

Chapter 3

I am hiding in our ensuite. I am such a pussy! I don't know what to do or say. I know that I can't stay in here forever but I need to get my head on straight.

How am I suppose to make it through this year. I look at myself in the mirror and take a deep breath. Just as peace is about to descend upon my person, I hear a soft knock on the door, "Hey, are you okay in there?", says my perfect fantasy in the most soothing voice I've ever heard.

I take another look at myself in the mirror, sigh deeply and respond, "Yes I'm fine. I will be right out ok." and I hear an "OK" from the other side of the door. I resign myself to the fact that I must go out there and face my fantasy head on. It all sounds great in my head but in reality, I am about to vomit.

I go through a litany of scenarios in my mind but in the end, nothing really makes sense as I just can't get over the fact that I will be sleeping in the same room as HIM.

I open the door, step back into our room and nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. My brain has stopped functioning all together as my mouth drops open to what I am sure is almost cartoonish like width. You see, standing in the middle of our room is a very near naked Keaton who then rushes past me as he hurriedly states, "Taking a shower!"

I hear the ensuite door click shut and finally I take the breath that I never even realized I was holding in. I have to get out of here before I do something very foolish or worse.

So like a coward, I flee our room for now.

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I find myself sitting under my favorite weeping willow, putting some thoughts on paper as now I have a complete visual of what my fantasy man looks like. I think to myself, my books might take a more interesting turn from here on out! I replay the event from earlier, over and over again in my mind knowing that this will be the one fantasy that will be in the fore front of my mind.

I sigh deeply, knowing that this will be it for me so I immerse myself in the fantasy that I have created as my escape and begin to let the story take shape as if possessed. A new story is forming and I know that until this episode stops, I will not move from this spot.

Some of my greatest pieces of literature were written in this haze of fantasy. I cannot really explain why it happens, only that by the end of an episode I feel blissfully empty and enraptured by what I have written. So it is safe to assume that He is my sole source for this current episode.

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I blink a few times and look around to find that the sun is just about setting. God, how long have I been sitting here. I drop my pen and paper! Yes, I do it the old fashion way although eventually it does wind up on my laptop. I stretch my arms and fingers and back. Eventually I get up and stretch the rest of my body, gather my things and decide to get some dinner. Not really being in the mood to join the general assembly of students in the cafeteria, there are some cold food items I keep in my mini refridgerator in my dorm room. Although I wish for Keaton to be there, I also hope that he is not. I feel that I need some time to get myself together in order to survive just being around him.

I come upon my door. Pull out my key and open it. "Hey, there you are. I was waiting for you so we could go to dinner together.", Keaton addresses me as I stop right in the doorway too stunned to move. I don't make a sound in response. He looks at me funny and then says, "I'm sorry, I know I can be a bit forward but I was hoping for us to get to know each other a bit better since we are going to be roommates after all!" He chuckles softly. I clear my throat lightly and respond, "Sure just let me put my stuff away and then we can go." All the while I am thinking, FUCK ME!