My Vampire Love

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My Vampire Love

Prologue

I stopped outside the bedroom door hesitating for a fraction of a second. Then slowly I raised my hand and pushed the door open silently praying that he was okay. The door swung open in slow motion and at the same time filled the room with a loud creaking sound.

Instantly the strong scent of blood filled my nose and I choked back the urge to turn and run from the room. My stomach turned thinking about whose blood it was that I smelled. I swallowed forcing my feet to move - to carry me into the room.

The moment I saw him, my heart launched off - pounding against my ribcage violently. I could feel it breaking my ribcage and pounding in my ears. Suddenly I could no longer stand there anymore - I couldn’t take it and I ran to him collapsing at his side, cradling his head on my lap. Tears streaked down my face, falling unto his head.

My hand flew to my mouth in horror as I took in all the blood that he was covered in. There seemed to be blood coming out from every part of his body. I wanted to scream at him - to yell at him for doing this - for getting himself hurt trying to protect me.

Suddenly I was screaming at the top of my lungs. It didn’t make sense - Daren was gone and nothing made sense anymore. I yelled and screamed at the pain exploding inside me. It hurt so much - I just wanted it to stop, but I didn’t know how. My heart was on fire, aching and being twisted and ripped apart. I felt hollow inside - like there was nothing inside me anymore - as if someone had taken my soul leaving me barren. I didn’t know how to deal with him being gone and screaming was the only thing that I could do.

How could he leave me? How could he be so stupid and think that for a second I would be okay without him? Daren left me alone and with nothing. He was gone and now I needed him. How could he ever do that to me? I loved him and he was gone. I would do anything for him so how could he just leave me just like that?

He asked me to trust him and I did. He wanted my love and I gave him that whole heartedly without second guessing him. When he asked me to marry him I agreed without thinking about it. I would give him anything he wanted - all he had to do was live - to stay alive and be with me. But he died. He didn’t fight. Had he held on a few seconds more and help would have come. How could he just leave me like that? How could he think that I would be okay without him?

I wasn’t okay - I wanted him back. God had no right to take him from me - it wasn’t fair. This was my fault. I was broken now - there was nothing more to me anymore. I was empty - my soul was gone - God had taken it away from me. There were cracks running along me now - I was broken. It didn’t make sense and all I could do was scream. Scream and scream and scream.

I woke up screaming and to the sounds of my mom's voice as she shook me. My face was wet with tears as I sealed my mouth shut and sat up on the bed. “Do you want to talk about it?” my mom asked rubbing my back - trying to comfort me - as she always would every morning that I woke up screaming. It never worked, nothing could comfort me now.

As always, I shook my head. I didn’t want to talk about it -it was too painful to talk about. Almost three weeks had passed since that night, and since then I hadn’t talked about it. Not talking was the only way that I knew to survive. Not allowing myself to feel the over whelming ache was the only way that I didn’t take a gun and shoot myself - it was the only way that I got up every morning.

Somehow I had found a way to mask the pain - to hide out in a place where I was too numb to feel anything. This was the way that I survived - I wasn’t strong enough to go on without the blanketing numb fog that surrounded me since I’d woken up after that night.