Curves and All (On Hold)

Chapter 4.2

4 Months Later

Tiana Smith

I sit in bed, starring at my laptop. I have a paper due and Microsoft Word is empty. I sigh and close it just as Alexis walks in. She looks at me and rolls her eyes. I really don't know whats been up with here the past months, but I knoowww a period don't last this long.

I get up and walk out. I don't even want to be bothered with her attitude today. I have more important things to worry about. I walk toward Devante's door and knock. He answers with low eyes. Oh no. Nevermind.

"Sup Ti."

"Uhh hey. Just came to say whats up, thats all. Nothing important." He nods and I hear coughing behind the door. How did I not hear him sneak that little hoe in? I shake my head.

"Just know mom comes home in about an hour." His eyes widen, well not much.

"Forreal. Thanks for telling me. Aye you got to go baby." He closes the door and I walk off. Ever since Dad died two months ago, our house has turned for the worst. Alexis sometimes not coming home at all, Devante smoking weed and my momma just trying to cope. Im taking this well. They had told us he wasn't getting any better, actually worse. I prepared myself. We all did from the beginning but I don't know what happened with them.

Im taking one day at a time. Slowly but surely. I know he isn't here anymore, but he sure as hell isn't suffering anymore. As soon as I make it down the stairs, Alexis comes up behind me.

"Go pick up your shit from your side of the room." I look at her crazily.

"My side of the room is clean. I just got done cleaning up." She opens her mouth but the front door is slammed shut. I look toward the door to see my extremely tired mom. She takes off her jacket slowly and heads to the kitchen.

Its like she doesn't even notice us anymore...

I walk up stairs to the room. I walk in ready to prove her wrong until I look at the scene. My shoes are threw across the room. My clothes are barely hanging on the hangers in the closet while some are thrown on my bed. My vanity is all messed up. I sit my laptop down on my bed slowly looking at the scene. I look at Alexis face to see her smiling.

"What did you do." I say calmly. gripping the vanity side.

"I was looking for something." She grins. I take deep breaths.

Calm down Tiana...Calm down...

I nod my head and let go of the vanity, counting backwards from twenty. I grab my laptop and walk pass her. She frowns and steps in my way.

"Clean it up."

"Alexis move." I start over, counting from thirty.

"I said clean this up Tiana."

"And I say N.O. No." I shove her shoulder and walk to the stairs. She really testing me. I walk downstairs into the kitchen to see my mom sitting at the table. I walk closer to see her starring at a bottle on Hennessy and a glass cup. Oh no! My mom is not becoming a alcoholic because she's grieving. I sit my laptop down and gently grab the bottle and cup.


"Ma. Maybe you should just-"

"Tiana Florence Smith. I said clean this mess up NOW!" I can hear Alexis storming down the stairs and then she comes around the corner. "So you wanna be fast and rude and try to drink in front of our grieving mother!" I shake my head. I pronounce Alexis crazy. I walk and put the bottle and cup away.

"Go clean that shit up Tiana!" I look at her crazy! She cursing...at me.

"Alexis..." My mother mumbles.

"The fuck I look like! You clean it up!"

"Tiana..."

"Naw bitch! Im the oldest! You do what I say!"

"Alexis..."

"I don't listen to ignorant bitches like yourself!" I step into Alexis face. She has a little height on her but please believe I have no problem tapping this ass.

"Bitch! I will-"

CRASH!

"BOTH OF Y'ALL LITTLE BITCHES BETTER STOP CUSSING IN MY MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE!" I look between the broken flowerpot to my raging mom. She huffs and looks at us, waiting for one of us to challenge her.

"But Ma! I told her to clean the room and she being bold and crap! She won't do it." Alexis starts whining like a baby.

"Why clean up if I didn't make the mess? I didn't-"

"Shut up withcho fat ass!" I look at Alexis as she starts breathing hard. "You always was a hot head and never listened to anybody. Just shut up and listen for once!" My mom grabs her arm but Alexis shakes her off. She points her finger in my face. I shake my head and walk off before she has anymore to say. Okay! OKAY!

I pull out my phone as I slam the door to walk outside. I cant call Victoria. She's on a family trip out of the country. Trinity is on punishment. I shoot a text to my last resort.

I finish the text as my mother comes out side with Alexis.

"Tiana she didn't mean it-" Alexis side steps mom and pushes me, making me drop my phone. My mom gasp and calls Devante's name.

"Yes. I. Fucking. Did! Your fat ass ain't gone doing nothing anyways. Im tired of you always wanting attention. Wanting us to tell you that you ain't fat! To tell you that you are beautiful. Didn't you get enough attention from Mom and Dad Damn it! How come he talked to you last before he died? Huh bitch." I ball up my fist.

"So you trying to push me around and cause problems because you didn't get enough attention. You sooo petty though! You're almost twenty years old trying to fight a sixteen year old! I didn't ask for your attention and praising bitch!" I feel someone grab my waist as I was getting closer and closer to Alexis. I see Devante holding Alexis back. "You're a a childish basic ass bitch! Hop off my dick hoe!"

"No one likes you Tiana! No one will love you over weight, heavy set self! You insecure little bitch! I had to hear you cry every night! You are such an attention seeker! I don't love you and I sure as hell knows that Dad didn't! You were a burden and shouldn't have been born!

You caused him to die because you stressed him out over your problems! You killed Dad and took him away from us! You always want attention!" My whole mind blurs as her words sink in. No no no no! She's wrong! She's fucking WRONG! I feel myself being pulled but all I see is tears clouding my eyes.

I didn't kill him.

I didn't kill my Dad.

It was not my fault!

"I didn't do SHIT! I didn't do SHIT! I didn't do-" A hand clasps over my mouth as I continue to scream, kick, and cry. I feel my body be sat on a seat and a door close. I look at Alexis and shoot her a middle finger. I feel the car pull off as I stare her down till I can't see her anymore.

"Ti. Ti. TI!" I look in his rearview mirror as he looks at me. I nod and turn to look out the window.

Why blame everything on me? I didn't do shit? The hell is wrong with her?

"Baby, where are we going?" I look up and there she is. My first time seeing his actual girlfriend. Mixed and beautiful. I expected her to be. When he told me he had a girlfriend, I knew I had to step back. There was no way I was dealing with drama. I distant myself and rarely called or text anymore. I knew he didn't like me on that level, but a small part of me hoped.

"We are all going out to eat to clear our minds."

"You can't drop her off at with one of her family members or something." I snap my fingers for her to look at me. She turns around with a mad expression.

"Her has a name and no she doesn't. People have jobs."

"Hoe! MY man picked YOU up! Bitch betta step and respect!"

"Cecliia! Are you serious!" She turns toward him and starts pouting.

"But baby! She disrespecting me!"

"All I told you was why you couldn't just drop me off. Where was the disrespect that you oh so claim?" She gets quiet. Point proven. Pop off at the mouth again.




We pull up to Applebee's. We get out and Cecilia instantly grabs his hand. I roll my eyes. We walk in and are greeted.

"Hi! Welcome to Applebee's. how many in you party?" Chris holds up three fingers. She nods and grabs three menus, motioning us to follow her. She sits us at a booth and sits down the menu and silverware.

"Your waiter will be here in a few." We nod and she walks off. I take my menu and look for something simple. I put my menu down and go to grab my phone.

"Shoot!" I whisper. Remembering that it fell earlier.

Chris looks up from his menu with comcern. "Whats wrong?"

"My phone. I think I left it." He nods and digs in his pocket. I look down to see him passing me my Samsung Galaxy II. I flip it and look at the screen. The screen is almost gone. I sigh looking at it. Its been hard trying to keep my money since most goes toward helping my mom. I just shake my head and put it away. Someone clears their throat.

"My name is Bobby. Im your waiter today. Can I start you off with anything to drink?" He looks at me and smiles, making me turn my head and blush.

"I would like a large coke, Bobby." I hear "Cecilia say seductively. I look at Chris and arch my eyebrow. He just shakes his head.

"The same." Chris takes Cecilia's hand out of his seeing her intentions were to get Bobby's attention. He looks at me and smile.

"And you?"

"An uhh water please." He writes it all down saying he would come back when we were ready to order. As soon as he walks off, Chris turns to Cecilia angrily.

"The fuck was that? Huh?" He starts whispering.

"What do do you mean bae?" She trying to pull the innocent card.

"Whatever. Lets just eat then go home."

"Wait, she isn't going home?"

"Cecilia." She shuts up and starts pouting.

I really do not like this hoe.
__________________________

After eating, we came to his place. I am to tired to even gawk at how nice this house is. He tells me where the guest room is and bathroom. I hate that it is right next to his room. He gives me a shirt and some sweatpants. I thank him and walk into the room, closing the door. If I needed anything I could ask. I could do what I want since he really does not care.

I strip out of my clothes, and put on his. I walk to the bathroom across the hall and see a spare toothbrush already out. I look in the medicine cabinet and I find the toothpaste. I brush my teeth and walk back into the room. Once I close the door, I walk over to the bed and slide in.

"Not tonight bae." I sit up as I hear his voice.

"Ugh! Why not! I need you!" I hear them start kissing. I cover my ears but its useless. I grab the remote from off the TV stand and turn it on. I hear her start moaning so I turn it up.

"Mhhhmmmm Fuck Chris! Uhhhh! Yes baby yes!" I hear the bed hitting the wall. I turn up the TV to the max as they continue for the next hour. And I heard it all. I get up and walk out the room. I can't stand hearing them still. Think they were about to do round two!

I walk to the kitchen and sit at the counter. I start hearing her screams again and I groan.

Oh.

My.

GOSH!

I put my head on the counter and just listen to them getting it alll night.




__________________________

I wake up feeling someone tapping me. I open my eyes, rubbing them to see more easily. I see Chris and I smack his hand away fast as hell!

"The fuck?"

"Did you take a shower?"

"Yeah!" I sigh in relief. Least he didnt touch me with his grimy hands. "Why?"

"I heard you guys doing the nasty till the wii early of the morning. Thats why." He smacks his lips laughing. This is not amusing at all.

"You hungry?"

My mind dawns back on every comment ever said about my weight. Every insult regarding my weight and Alexis words come to haunt me. I feel my shoulders slump and my head fall. I look at my body. My hips and thighs that seem to eat this stool alive. My stomach that is nowhere from flat.

Maybe I did kill my own Dad. I always ran to him for my problems. I must be an attention seeker. I killed my Dad with my weight issues...

"Tiana!" My head shoots up from Chris hitting the counter, taking me out of my haunting thoughts. He gives me a worrying look.

"You good?" I try not to look in his eyes as I plaster on the fake Tiana.

"Yeah, im good. Just thinking. And no, im not hungry." He looks at me for a good minute, then turns to the fridge. I hear feet coming down the stairs, then Cecilia comes around the corner wearing one of Chris's buttoned up shirts that came to her ankles. Looking at her small frame in his clothes made my self-esteem and confidence, well the little I had, hit the floor. I see her wrap her tiny thin arms around his naked frame.

He smiles and hugs her back, taking in her slim hips. I look at my shirt and slowly run my hands over the wrinkles. I wish the fat would come off like the wrinkles in this shirt...

"So baby, what are we doing today?" Cecilia has her head on his back with her arms snaked around Chris waist.

"Depends since Tiana here? Tiana you going home or what? Im not kicking you out or nothing like that. I just need to know." She looks at me with an evil eye.

"Yeah. You can take me home after you guys are done eating. I will be in the room getting my clothes." I hop from the stool and walk upstairs. I didn't want to intrude their personal life with my personal problems. I walk into the laundry room, pulling my clothes out. I look at them and feel my heart crush.

I felt so pretty in them yesterday, but I feel like a fat fool if I put them on today. It is a floral halter top that I paired with some acid washed high waisted skinny jeans. My thighs look so big and my stomach was probably hanging out. I walk to the bathroom on the verge of tears. I probably have been looking foolish this whole time. I should have listened to Brandon. I should haw listened to Lashon. I should have listened to every person that has said I was ugly because they were only telling the truth.

I look in the mirror and no longer see the girl I saw yesterday.

I see a nappy head fat girl who has been fooling herself for years. And now look at me.

Im a damn ugly fat shame.

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Oh my gosh! Whats happening to Tiana y'all? Really thought I was going to slow it down? Well I did have a time difference.

Since its two parts....the goal is raised!

Goals:

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I can accept 15-20 comments on each if you would rather do that!

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