i haven't been able
to stop crying
at such random times.
it's like all the tears
that i should've cried before -
when i didn't even know what was going on -
are now unbottled
and eager to escape
my eyes
whenever the thought of
you and you and you
come into mind.
it was all fine last night, you know,
until you and your friends
brought up all those things.
i watched you
and realized just how
stranded
i am.
but i feel as though
that's only because i'm letting myself
do that
to myself.
i realize now
that you did try your best.
of course you did.
so thank you for that.
i guess i was just
analyzing too much -
just like i once said
scientists do -
like most people do, i suppose,
every moment of
the day.
i was fine last night,
until you walked by and
touched me on the shoulder.
and you said good-bye
and some other words;
and your friends followed after,
and i was glad that there wasn't much space
for you to stay behind
and see me cry.
i couldn't wipe away
all the tears
fast enough
and you caught me.
but you didn't act like
i was afraid you would.
i guess it's because
you've been perfect for so long
in my mind, that
every little imperfection
i take and magnify (unconsciously),
forgetting all the beautiful things you've done.
i'm sorry about that,
just so you know.
but thank you for
taking care of me,
in a way,
and thank you for the last words,
and thank you for the memories.
i should stop saying thank you -
i'm afraid it'll lose its meaning -
but i really can't.
just like my tears,
those two words
have been unbottled -
and i can't stop letting them out,
and watching them fly.
