Bitε thε Bullεt (A Soldier's l♡ve story)

Bite the Bullet Chp23

Warning: Everything in this chapter is my imaginations. This is the second last chapter of Bite the Bullet. I will post the last chapter on 23 August cuz that was the day I posted Bite the Bullet. Its been a year wow! Thank you so much for the votes and comments. 

Guys the story needs more votes so others can see and read it.

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~*~* Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death. ~*~*

Avalina

It has been three devastating and lonely months since Blade left me alone. I was living in his house, the house he told me we would live together in; that he would like for me to welcome him with open hands but now here I am completely alone! He was everywhere, everywhere I glanced, and Blade was there. I felt abandoned at times that I wanted to grab my heart until it stopped beating. He haunted my dreams, even though I didn't know how he died but I kept dreaming about his death. I knew Troy was with him and that was what I dreamed about. Every time my own yells would wake me up from my nightmares, they were the reason I couldn't sleep. Seeing his face like that was horrifying. I was scared of him, yet I wished so much to see him again.

Losing him was like every part of my body was aching, like someone had tore my chest apart, grabbing my heart to cut it in half, placing it back in the wound and bleeding so much that my soul was drenched in my own bloodshed.

His family, Devin and Maya cared a lot for me but what was I able to give them in return? Nothing!  My life was upside down. I did nothing but to shed tears. Maya said to take the pictures down from the walls but I felt like she was taking my broken soul away. I couldn't say anything but cried, seeing me, vulnerable and shattered Maya took pity. I know she wanted to help me with everything; we sort of became sisters just like Blade had once predicted.

Thinking about him was like suffocating yourself, then again there wasn't any day or minute I wasn't thinking about him, killing myself again and again. It was like you were drowning and only his memories would save you. I remember him saying something to me like it was yesterday. "My love for you will never die; in fact it grows more in my heart every day, every minute and every second. Until it consumes my body and soul, then I will kneel and give myself away to you." Those were the words he'd said while asking me to marry him, and now I understand what he meant by love growing with passing seconds.

Silent tears escaped my eyes as I wrapped my hands around myself and his smiling face flashed before my eyes. I would give anything, anything to touch his face again, to feel the warmth of his embrace. 

"You're crying again," said a familiar voice. I turned around to see Maya there with her hands crossed with an eyebrow raised.

"I am sorry," I replied, quickly wiping my tears.

She sighed and came forward, "I don't want you to cry anymore, you have lost all your weight and its scaring me," she wrapped a hand around my shoulder.

"It's hard," I murmured, ducking my head walking down the hallway.

"I am sure my brother wanted you to be happy, please don't hurt him more, your feelings are destroying your health, you're not eating not taking the pills," she argued gently, following me.

Even though Maya was just a year older she was just so motherly it was welcoming. At the start I was reserved and didn't open up to her, but with time it was impossible to ignore her. 

"I will try Maya I will, but it's really hard there is like a hole inside my brain and heart, no matter how many years will pass the hole will be exactly the same," we had now stopped in the living room.

"Ava dear, you can't always live like this," she told me firmly.

"I don't want to move on, it's impossible," I turned my gaze away from her intense one. It penetrated the walls of my strength.

"It's not impossible, I know how much you love him-" I spoke before she could complete.

"I do love him, I did love him and will always love Blade for the rest of my life," now my voice held a harsh edge.

"I understand it but as his sister I can't see you like this," Maya literally growled, she had indicated many times for me to move on but today she had enough of my mourning.

"I want to live like this, here with him" my voice quivered.

"Avalina you are not with him, he is not here! There might be someone waiting for you, someone who can make you happy again," she kept going on. A sob broke on my lips and I shook my head in disagreement.

I couldn't take it; the thought of being with someone was utter torture. "I can't," a tear fell on my cheek as I looked down. My heart was beating extremely fast. The sheer thought of someone being near me scared me; I felt my hands getting sweaty, lips going cold.

"Why can't you? You are still young," she spat, growing frustrated.

"Maya I can't, stop please," I begged, taking a step away from her, as though she was hurting me.

"Avalina, you know I am right! Why? Why can't you live when you are still beautiful and there is someone ready to take you? Blade is not here! Why is it hard for you to be happy again?" she demanded in a high pitch.

I felt something break in me, something I had been hiding. I heard the shatter from the distance.

"How can I?" I screamed staring in her eyes. "How can I be with someone else when I am expecting his child?" I was shaking by the time those words left my mouth.

"Avalina, you... what?" Maya gasped, looking at me like she was scared. My world went black for few seconds and I collapsed on my fragile knees, hiding my face in my hands. After a moment I felt her sitting next to me, there was no sound except from the ticking of the clock and my muffled sobs.

"Is it... Is it true?" Maya questioned in a whisper. I wasn't looking at her but knew she had turned pale. I gave a nod, hearing her gasp, then an arm wrapped around my shoulder. "When did you find out?" she was crying as well.

I swallowed looking up at her. "A month ago, I went to the doctor and she said it has been two months already. I was terrified I couldn't tell anyone," I told her.

"Oh Avalina! I am so, so sorry. I will be there for you on every step, my dad he will be happy to hear this," she passed a small smile. I gulped.

"He won't trust me," I bit hard on my lips. She frowned, then shook her head as though winning an argument in her brain.

"Sweetie he can make sure by doing whatever tests he wants but I believe you, I am really happy to know this," she hugged me again. I couldn't stop my tears but my sobs died down, at last Maya grabbed my hands and we stood up. She was crying as well.

"Thank you," I said gasping for some air.

"No Ava, thank you for everything," she beamed, taking my hand and leading me towards the couches.

I didn't know what future had planned for me, I only know this after Blade I have something to live for. He left me with so many memories, which were enough for a life time. I will always cherish the time I was with him, he was my life and will always be my life.

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Just one chapter left and then Bite the Bullet will be done :(  I am sad but happy at the same time that it will be my FIRST story which I will post completely online.  Thank you all for everything.

Don't forget to Vote and let me know what you think in your comnnets.