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I Am Beautiful

Dedicated to
To anybody who has ever thought less ...
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There's a feeling and everybody has felt it before. Whether you were in the grocery store, at school, with your friends, or at home. That feeling hurts. It goes deep inside your stomach, past those butterflies and right to where you just want to puke.

 

The feeling of being ignored. Ignored by your best friends, family, and even those weird kids in school who don't ever talk to anybody. I know what they say, life isn't fair get over it, but that's not what a girl wants to hear. She wants to hear how she's right and the other person is wrong, she wants to be told she's beautiful once in a while, she doesn't want to be laughed at because she's fat, or be told shes ugly when she spends hours on end putting on makeup so boys will think shes pretty.

 

"Your not pretty RyLeigh. You are fat and disgusting. Of course I WON'T go out with you!" 

 

"Ha! Go out with you? No thanks, excuse me while I go swallow a knife now."

 

"Are you screwed up or something? What makes you think I would EVER date somebody as fat as you? Honestly you're like a baby hippo. Better lose some weight before you ever ask anybody that again!"

 

I'm that fat, ugly, and insecure girl and this is my story. 

 

"Hey sweet cheeks!" Travis, my best and only friend, said as he suddenly appeared behind me.

 

"Holy shit! You scared me!" I swatted him on the arm and proceeded to grab my things out of my locker.

 

"Oh such a naughty girl! Using language like that." He was teasing me. He did this everyday thinking it was cute and funny. In all honesty it was, funny. 

 

"Shut your mouth! Somebody will probably hear you and think I'm a freaking stripper. It's amazing what kind of things people can come up with to spread about others." Yes, I'm also that girl who has had all sorts of rumors started about me. All I can say is people have really creative minds.

 

"Oh Ry, you know I don't believe those!" The words flew from his mouth in complete honesty. This is one of the most important reasons why he is my best friend. 

 

"You seem to be my only fan!"

 

"Darling you've got plenty of other friends!" A big jock walked past us. He wasn't even hot, his eyes were to close together and his teeth to far apart. He had a triangle looking neck and seemed to enjoy smoking pot way to much.

 

"Oh yes, because everybody just loves my 'skinny and beautiful face'." I wish I could shove those words back down my throat. It wasn't true, I'm 40 pounds over weight and I've got acne to last a life time. 

 

"Hey, don't ever think less of yourself. You are beautiful and I mean that." Why, why would he say that to somebody so.. ugly? It's probably easy being him. He's average looking and is probably the nice person I've ever met.

 

I playfully punched his shoulder and tried to ignore the snide comments about my weight as we walked down the hallways.

 

That night after dinner I opened my laptop and clicked open my Facebook page. Surprisingly I had 23 new messages. Nervously I moves my mouse and clicked on the messages.

 

"Go die fat bitch."

 

"I hope you get a high five, in the face, with a chair, really hard! I can't believe what you did!"

 

"WTF, what kind of girl are you?!"


 "God told me to see the good in people, but after what I heard I don't believe in that anymore!"

 

"You are sick. Disgusting!"

 

Messages continued on like that. What rumor went on now? I could tell I was about to cry. How can somebody be so mean and not care how it makes somebody else feel? Do they enjoy laughing about my weight, my ugly face?

 

 I couldn't take it anymore and signed off of Facebook. I was about to shut down my whole computer and throw it against the wall when Travis IMed me.

 

Artboy: Hey, I heard what happened. You okay? I've got ice cream ready.

 

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