When I awoke I was... in my bed?
Whew, I thought as I jumped out of the bed which for some reason was now pink. Musta been a dream!
I passed the moose on my way to the fridge. He was sitting at the parcheesi table, like normal. That's odd. Both his antlers are completely attached today! Normally his left one looks like it's about to fall off!
"Buenos días señor Moose!" I screamed in greeting as I opened the fridge and pulled out some pumpkin butter and a cupcake. "You're looking ever so dashing today! Whatcha want for today's epiclicious breakfast time? The usual rainbow cupcake?"
"Woof!" the moose said in response.
"Er, okay...IMMA TAKE DAT AS A YES!"
I sat the cupcake in front of him. He looked at is it was poison.
"Meeeh what's wrong mooooosssee? NO IZ SHALT NOT GIVE YA A MUFFIN! YOUZ OF ALL PEOPLES KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YA GIVE A MOOSE A MUFFIN!"
I popped open the jar of pumpkin butter and stuck it in my mouth, licking out the butter. Forget spoons!
I pulled it out of my mouth with a "pop!" "YA WANT SOME MOOSE?!?" I asked the moose, shoving the jar in his face. "IT'S FILLED WITH DELICIOUS YUMMINESS!!!"
"Moo!" the moose responded.
"UM...FINE MORE FO MEH!!!!" I stuck the jar back in my mouth. "An youz being weird today," I pointed out with the jar in my mouth. "Pawchessi?"
"Oink!" the moose responded.
I pulled the jar out of my mouth. "Someone has multiple-personality disorder." I sat up the Parcheesi board. "There! Mkay I went first last time, so you go first!"
"Meow." He looked intently at his pieces, as if he was having a staring contest. Then he did something totally unexpected.
He...He...MOVED HIS PIECE!
"Oh mah pickles! You okay moose? Do you gotz a fever?!" I felt his head. It felt normal! "Oh noes oh noes oh noes!"
In the simulation control room...
"Hurry up!" The black and grey male alien ordered the orange female alien. "She onto us!"
The neon orange female pressed random buttons. In turn, the simulated moose made sounds. "Moo! Honk! Quack! Tweet!"
"It's not working!" the female alien yelled. "She suspects something!"
"I gotta get you to the vet!" they heard me shout as I pushed the moose towards the secretly simulated door.
"No!" the male alien screamed. He and the female pressed random buttons.
"Grr! Hee haw! Cockadoodledoo!" the moose said as I made it to the door.
The aliens' attempts didn't work. I swung open the door to see...space! "OhmygodOhmygodOhmygodOhmygod I'm in space!" (hehe portal quote!) "MOOSE MOOSE MOOSE WE'RE IN SPACE! OH MAH PICKLES WE'RE SPACE BUDDIES!"
I turned around to hug the moose, but he wasn't there. Neither was my house.
"Wait I can breathe in space?!"
"Shut it down!" The male alien ordered the female alien.
Suddenly, space disappeared, and I was on the ground staring at an insane nerd's paradise.
Meanwhile, back at my real house...
The moose was sneaking muffins, his left antler hanging from only a, um, twig?
Suddenly, the door was knocked down. The moose's antler dropped off in surprise. A man entered the house, followed by a troop.
"FBI!" he shouted, not noticing the moose. "We heard there was an alien sighting around here!"
The moose grunted, making the FBI dude jump and turn to him. "Oh my!" He shouted. "It's still here! Get em!"
The troop jumped on the moose. Well, except for one troop member, who turned to the leader. "Sir!" he announced, picking up the fallen antler. "It's just a moose!"
"Nuh-uh!" FBI-leader-dude shouted at the soldier. "Moose have two antlers!"
"But-"
"DO NOT QUESTION MY GENIUS!"
The troop backed away to reveal the moose hogtied and lying on his back. He grunted as he tried to reach the muffins.
"Alright soldiers!" FBI-leader-dude shouted. "To area 52!"
"Sir, don't you mean-"
"Are you questioning me again, soldier?!"
"No sir!"
"Then let's move out!"
The troop slowly rolled the moose through the doorframe, leaving six poor, uneaten muffins on the floor behind.
