10
Nanlulumo at napapahiyang lumabas siya ng classroom. Pero kahit na ganun, buong tyaga pa din siyang naghintay hanggang sa matapos ang klase nila. Nagtaka ang ibang kaklase niy kung bakit nasa labas siya at sinabi na lang niyang kakausapin pa niya si Sir Michael. And yes, she is going to talk to him.
Nung mapansin niyang lumabas na ang lahat ng estudyante, pumasok siya sa classrom at nakita niyang nagliligpit ng mga gamit si Michael sa table nito at mukhang aalis na.
“M-Mike…” She struggled to keep her voice steady. Napatingin ito sa kanya. Katulad pa din ng dati. His eyes are still emotionless.
“Can we talk?” Pinilit niyang ikuyom ang mga kamao niya para pigilan ang kaba niya.
“What about Miss Kim?”Malamig na malamig ang boses nito na pakiramdam niya nanuot sa buong kalamnan niya ang lamig. And she is becoming frustrated dahil kahit kailan hindi siya ginamitan ni Michael ng ganyang tono.
“Mike, I’m sorry. Aaminin kong nagkamali ako. If you want, sige, sasama na ako sayo. Kahit hindi na ako mag aral. If you want us to live in the US sasama ako sayo.” Shesaw him clinched his jaw. And uncertaintly played on his eyes.
“What I want?” Tumaas ang kilay nito. She didn’t expect him to react that way. Akala niya kapag sinabi niya dito na willing na siyang I give up ang pangarap niya, magiging okay na sila. Pero bakit ganito? Bakit ganito ang reaction nito?
“Yes. Whatever you want.” Desperadang sabi niya.
“And what about your father? And your dream? And everything that you’ve hard for?” Mahina ang boses nito pero ramdam na ramdam niya ang emosyon.
“I will give it all up for you.”
“And…”
“And?” Hindi na niya talaga ito maintindihan. Bakit ganito ito ka cold sa kanya?
“And would that make you happy?” Nakatiim ang bagang nito habang sinasabi yun.
“I am happy with you. You could make me happy.” And this time, nakita niya itong umiling.
“No Raice. I cannot make you happy. Ikaw lang ang makakapagpasaya sa sarili mo. No one could make you happy except yourself. Unless you’ve decided to be happy for yourself. And I’m sorry but the offer no longer stands .” Nahigit niya ang hininga niya. Ano ang ibig nitong sabihin? Surely, he is not serious.
But as she looked at him, she saw how serious he is.
“Ganun na lang ba yun kadali? Isang linggo ka lang nawala tapos ayaw mo na? Ganun lang ba kadali akong bitawan Mike?” She wasn’t able to stop as her voice croaked.
“No Rachelle. Hindi isang linggo. But one year, 3 months, 18 days and 3 freaking hours. Hindi lang isang linggo. And it was never easy. I tell you. Never. ” Nakita niya ang sakit na dumaloy sa mga mata nito and she looked away.
She fight her urge to cry.
“Siguro para sayo madali. Madali lang akong I give up. You gave me up with just a phone call right? Tawag lang mula sa kaibigan mo and you came packing.” He again clenched his jaw.
“But tell me Raice, how do you let go of someone so thoroughly woven through your soul? It wasn’t easy. Except of course, if you ripped your soul apart. And I’m willing, to rip my soul apart, just to be able to let you go. Just to be able to move on. “ And she saw a tear fell from his eyes. He never bothered to brushed it off. He never bothered to keep it from her. Nakatulala siya habang pinagmamasdan ang nag iisang luha na tumulo sa mga mata nito not noticing that her tears are already freely falling from her eyes.
Ito ang unang beses na hinayaan siya nitong makita na umiiyak ito. And she felt scared. Very scared. Because with what he had done, it’s as if he is baring his soul to her. Na para bang sa ginawa nitong pagluha sa harapan niya, he had finally decided to let go of her the way he had finally decided to let go of his tear.
At nagulat na lang siya nung bigla siya nitong hinapit at hinalikan. Isang mariin na halik, isang mahigpit na yakap. Yet she knew that it was not a kiss because he desire her. It was not a hug because he missed her. Alam niya na itong na ang huling beses na hahalikan siya nito. Ito na ang huling beses na yayakapain siya nito.
It was a goodbye kiss and a goodbye hug.
She wanted to wail.
She wanted to shout.
She wanted to curse herself.
Nanginginig ang katawan niya habang yakap siya nito. Tuloy tuloy ang daloy ng luha niya.
Dahil kahit hindi nito sabihin alam niya. Alam niya because she knew him. At ito siguro ang disadvantage ng kapag masyado kayong tuned in sa isa’t isa. Dahil kahit hindi sabihin ng isa alam mo na na bibitiwan ka na. At napakasakit para sa kanya.
“I will send you the divorce papers tomorrow.” Bigla sabi nito.
And just as she’d thought, binitiwan siya nito. And without looking back he just took his things and immediately left.
She was caught totally off guard.
Naghanap siya ng mahahawakan dahil sa biglaang pagbitaw nito sa kanya.
Pero wala siyang mahagilap. Wala siyang makakapitan.
Kahit upuan, mesa o dingding.
Mas lalong walang Michael.
Just as she wanted.
To stand on her own two feet.
Pero hindi niya na kayang tumayo.
At wala na siyang nagawa kundi ang mapaupo sa sahig habang umiiyak.
