Think of me when you're out when you're out there...
"I'm leaving you, Nicole." Joseph looked deeply into my eyes as I started to cry.
"Why?" I choked out past my now salty lips due to the tears that had fallen and died on them.
"I don't feel the same anymore. I'm so sorry. I wish I could help you. We could stay friends." He pulled me into a hug.
"You can help me. Don't go. Let me know what I did and I'll change it." I pushed back from him. I stared intently into his eyes begging for forgiveness; wordlessly.
"Nicole..." He sighed. "Nothing can be done." He started to walk away. I fell to my knees immediately. The breathe had basically been knocked from me. My heart had been shattered into a million pieces and my lungs had been pierced by the shards.
I'll beg you nice from my knees...
"Please Joseph. I love you. Give me another chance, please." I yanked on his pant leg. He looked down at me with a frown on his face. I looked up at him with my hands clasped together.
"What makes you think it will get better?" He came down to my height by bending his knees.
"We could find out what went wrong. I know you still love me. I know you do. I don't know why you're leaving but I know you still care, so stay." I looked him in the eyes again. They were filled with doubt.
"Give me a few days and I'll come back and tell you how it will be, okay?" His face got a little reassurance on it. This made me feel the same way.
And when the world treats you way too fairly...
"Okay." I looked at him as he kissed me.
"I'm sure my mind will clear up." He smiled at me and walked out of my apartment.
Well it's a shame I'm a dream. All I wanted was you...
I fell to the floor and cried my eyes out. I missed him dearly already. I did not think he would ever come back. All I ever wanted was him. He's the only one I ever loved and he was gone. He's the only one I'd ever love my whole life.
I think I'll pace my apartment a few times and fall asleep on the couch...
There was too much energy inside of me. I looked like an idiot and would not go out in public like this though. I started walking back and forth across my apartment without thinking. My hands found my hair and held onto it strongly. Finally, I was out of energy as I fell onto the couch and slept, while frustrated.
Wake up early to black and white re-runs...
"Nicole? Nicole?" A familiar voice was calling my name. My eyes flickered open to see Joseph sitting next to me.
"What are you doing here?" I turned over hiding my face as a knife like pain shot through me. I was about to cry again but held it within me.
"I came to say I love you beautiful." He turned me back over and pulled me up to him.
"I'll never think of leaving again. I completely love you. You are my one and only baby. I adore you completely. You're the only one I ever loved and will ever love. I need you." He kissed me lightly on the lips. "Please never leave me either."
"I won't I need you just as much as you need me. I adore you too. I will always need you in my life even when nothing is wrong because you are what makes it perfect." I kissed him deeply and he responded the same.
All I wanted was you All I wanted was you All I wanted was you All I wanted was you...
He was my everything my never ending love story. He was the one that supported me when no one else could. The one that would listen to every single word I said no matter how stupid it sounded. He was completely honest with me and adored my smile even though some of the time I thought I looked horrid. He always found me beautiful and always wanted to hold my hand. He made life always grand.
I could follow you to the beginning just relive the start and maybe then we'll remember to slow down at all of our favorite parts...
We walked back to how it had been at the very beginning. Back to when we barely knew each other and had so much to learn. We took each others hand and the world was bright again after a few hours of darkness and despair. He was the sun and I was the moon, we kept each other company and a light. He loved me like no one ever had and no one ever would. He was my own hero, my never ending strength. The one that woke me late at night just to say he loved me and to prove it with a kiss goodnight. He was the first voice I heard in the morning and the last at night, he made sure of it. With every turn in my life story he was there to guide me so I wouldn't fall over the edge. He was not just a chapter in my book but every single word on every single page. The best book I'd ever read but kept on writing. It was so strong, what we had that I couldn't describe it at all. When I tried I stood there dumbfounded with my mouth hanging open until he closed it for me saying it was all okay. Then we continued to write the best book together. A book only we could read and comprehend while everyone else was confused. The book that in the end no one else would ever read or understand because they couldn't find the pure intensity behind it while we could. In the end he was all I ever wanted, the only thing I always wanted to keep right beside me. I won't talk for him but I hope he feels it to. I wish to stay forever, his Nicole.
All I wanted was you All I wanted was you All I wanted was you All I wanted was you All I wanted was you
All I'll ever want is you. I adore you. You are my one and only hero. I will always love you. You have no idea how much I care about you. Even if you leave I will still stand here, lonely, waiting for your return. If you do not come back I will stand here alone forever wondering what I did wrong. You will be my only love from now until the end of time, and even past the stars. Thank you for being how wonderful you are. For writing this book with me and singing a song in my head that I could never end. I would not be able to be without you ever. Please never leave. I will never think of anyone but you. I hope you love me to this same intensity to, forever and always.
With much love,
Your Nicole
*Note: Based off of All I Wanted By Paramore.*
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