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How Boys Think

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Chapter 1: Seeing A Girl You Like For The First Time

Today our topic is on “The first meeting with a girl”. Some of you might find it interesting to delve into our brains to figure out what exactly guys like us think when we see a girl we want to bang- I mean date. So here are the questionsand answers! Enjoy!

Please don't take this too seriously, we don't want any of you ending up like us... single and alone. 

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Reece: Alright, ready guys?

Clyde (Manwhore): Where them girls at!
Dean (Blondie): Huh? For what?
Roger (Nerd): Extremely. *Starts singing Born this Way*
Brandon (Badass): I’m always ready except when people want me to be ready, then I’m never ready.

Reece: What is the first thing on your mind when you see a hot girl?

Clyde (Manwhore): A hot girl or a girl I like? There’s a difference.
Dean (Blondie): She’s hot.
Roger(Nerd): Wow Dean, wasn’t that obvious? I agree with Clyde, there is a difference because sometimes I want to hold them like they do in Texas please.
Brandon: Yeah man, if you going to ask questions least make them sound smart. P.S Roger, stop quoting Poker Face.

Reece: Fine! What is the first thing on your mind when you see a girl you want to date? Better?

Clyde (Manwhore): Hmm I wonder if she thinks I’m hot or I’m sexy. It’s really a tough question.
Dean (Blondie): I want to date her.
Roger (Nerd): We should kick Dean out this group, his answers are predictable. My answer is: “Shawty had them Apple Bottom Jeans, boots with the fur.”
Brandon (Badass): Did someone just fucking quote Get Low? My answer: She looks alright, if she’s interested I’d date her if she’s not who the hell cares?

Reece: Okay Roger, tone down on the lyrics. Anyway, moving on. Do you make the first move?

Clyde (Manwhore): I have to look at her boobs first to decide whether she’s worth my energy.
Dean (Blondie): Well, if she’s not stubborn then I wouldn’t mind!
Roger (Nerd): Most girls are stubborn, Dean.
Brandon (Badass): They’re stubborn when the only thing you humped is your mousepad, Roger.

Reece: Ouch, Burn for Roger! Ten points for Dean who actually answered the question. What exactly is your type?

Clyde (Manwhore): She must have a vagina.
Dean (Blondie): My type is sweet and funn- wait, did someone say vagina? Where? Where!
Roger (Nerd): Huh, where is a vag? Is it a full view or like camel toe? I like a girl with a sense of humor and low to maintain.
Brandon (Badass): Cute, calm and a bit of sexiness. I’m still looking for the vagina sighting.

Reece: Please can the word vagina be refrained during the interview. What’s the minimum age difference you think is socially acceptable.

Clyde (Manwhore): Five years or older. I like older woman. HOT.
Dean (Blondie): That’s just wrong, you know some girl in china was 5 and pregnant?
Roger (Nerd): Eww, Dean do you Google shit like that?
Brandon (Badass): You guys a fucking retards. A 3 year age difference is alright. Oh and Reece, Vagina.

Reece: Is that what you have, Brandy? Alright, would you kiss on the first date?

Clyde (Manwhore): Kiss? Are you serious? On the first date? I bang!
Dean (Blondie): Maybe a small peck on the cheek so that she doesn’t think I’m a Manwhore. *Cough* Clyde.
Roger (Nerd): Yeah probably.
Brandon (Badass): Roger, he doesn’t mean blow a kiss through Skype. Oh and if it seems like she wants to make-out then let the force be with her.

Reece: If someone tells you that your crush is a… slut, what would you do?

Clyde (Manwhore): I would bloody run around fist pumping the air!
Dean (Blondie): Oooooh sluts? I don’t do sluts.
Roger (Nerd): I would start singing “I’m in Love with a Stripper,”
Brandon (Badass): Not that I care, long as she’s not a prossie when we’re dating.

Reece: Advice time! Help this guy on Yahoo Answers.

I like this girl! I’m friends with her on facebook and thats about it. i want to maybe hang out with her more but i dont want to be wierd and i dont know what to say... i dont want to work through my friend to get her i want to do it on my own. what should i say on facebook to her if shes online, if anything? can you tell me exactly what to say? how do i give her signs im interested without being wierd? im a 16 year old boy, and girls have told me im cute but ive got moderate acne with a decent body...

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