There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate

There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate (40)

"I'm your best friend?" I couldn't help but grin at Alex. This was the most I had smiled ever since Jesse left. I missed the feeling.

"I thought you knew that," he informed me, the way he was saying it made it sound like he thought I was some sort of idiot. "And I thought I was the stupid one."

"You are the stupid one," I told him flatly. "But I just thought Jesse was your best friend."

"He is--" Alex started, but then quickly frowned. "He was."

I frowned now as well. So both Jesse and I were Alex's best friends... That made me happy. I didn't feel left out, and neither would Jesse... if he was even here with us.

"Speaking of Jesse," Alex began, and I didn't know if I wanted to hear this. "His funeral's this weekend."

My frowned deepened even more. How were they having a funeral for Jesse when he wasn't even dead? And if he didn't die, then how did they have his body?

"What about his funeral?" I asked, not knowing what else I was supposed to say. Except for Marnie, I hadn't ever met anyone in Jesse's family before. Even though Marnie said she would keep in touch with me, I hadn't spoken to her since the last time she had visited... And now the thing that caused us to meet was gone...

"I've been invited," Alex shrugged, as if it was no big deal or something. But this definitely was a big deal! He was invited to Jesse's funeral? At first I was hurt because I hadn't been invited, but then again I understood why I wasn't. No one in his family but Marnie even knew I existed...

"You were invited?" I asked, my eyes going wide. "How did you get invited?"

"Jesse told his family about me," Alex shrugged once again, and I couldn't help but feel a little hurt about that. Did he tell his family about me? I highly doubted it... I mean, it was a lot easier to tell your family who your best friend is than it is to tell them who you're in love with. "So they called me up and asked if I wanted to go to the funeral."

I hated the word funeral. The only funeral I had been to was my grandmother's, and I had to leave in the middle of that one so I didn't break down in front of everyone there. But funeral meant death, which had been happening enough in my life so far.

"Oh," I nodded, trying to hide the fact that I wanted to go to a funeral for someone who wasn't even dead. "Well... are you going?"

"Nope," he said with a sudden grin, catching me off guard. "We are."

I blinked at him. "We are?"  

He nodded at me. "Yep, we are. I asked if I could bring another of Jesse's friends along and his mom said that I could. So we're going to be flying to California for the weekend and we're going to go to his funeral."

I stared down at the ground, wiping at my eyes with the back of my hand. I thought I stopped crying when I thought of Jesse... Guess I was wrong...

"It's okay, Jordan," Alex grinned, grabbing onto my shoulders and forcing me to look up at him gently. "I know you're heartbroken now, but you'll get over it sooner or later. You know Jesse would want you to. I'd be crying as well if something like this happened to Lexi..."

"I just... miss him," I sniffed, wiping at my eyes again. I then chuckled a little. "I used to tell everyone how I wouldn't care if he disappeared. Now I've been sobbing for days. I just can't believe that he's really gone. He was always there, you know? He was just... there whenever I needed him."

Alex smiled sadly and nodded at me once again. He patted my head before letting me go and straightening up. "You might have lost the love of your life, but I lost my best friend. Jesse was the only person that really got me, you know? Yeah, I'm a complete idiot and I goof around, but that doesn't mean I can't be serious. Jesse was the only person who knew about me being in the gang. He was the only one that knew all my secrets, besides you. So it feels like I only have you now."