My Vampire Love

My Vampire Love

Katalin Cortege

I walked until the rage inside me couldn’t push me any further and then before I had fully taken ten steps away from Zane and Zoryaa, my knees shattered under me and I let myself drop to the grass in a crumpled mess. My eyes burned for a second and the world around literally dimed before me. It was like having a thin cloudy veil of smoke coat my senses, dulling them. Everything became dark and blunt.

I was so confused right now, it didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense anymore. I felt like my head was about to burst apart. I had so many thoughts circling me and each was tugging me in a different direction.

Zane was dead - he was never going to hurt me again. He couldn’t hurt Eric either - we were both free of him and his constant threats, but it didn’t feel like that. I didn’t feel free; in fact I felt more caged more than ever now. There was a gut wrenching feeling running along my body, making me feel horrified and disgusted at myself - at what I had just done.

Even if Zane and Zoryaa deserved what they got, it wasn’t me. I had gotten revenge at the end, but at what cost? Was it all worth it, losing myself? I had just taken the life of two persons and no matter how evil they were, it wasn’t right. This wasn’t who I was. How could I allow myself to do those horrible things to them? I was a monster that was so much worse that Zane or Zoryaa. I felt dark and cold inside, almost soulless and that scared me more than anything had ever scared me.

I had been so angry at Zane - it hurt so much that there weren’t words to describe the pain I had felt and all I could have thought about was making him pay. I wanted him to know what he had put me through, what he had put Daren and Brandon through. I had wanted Zane to feel as much pain as I could make him feel. I had tortured him - I had killed someone he considered as a sister while he watched, I had hurt him just as much as he had hurt me and now I felt no remorse, instead I felt empty.

I felt as if I had been scraped clean - like inside my body was nothing but a dark, soulless void. I didn’t know who I was anymore and now I felt like I was hanging at the edge of insanity.

Tears streamed down my face silently as I gazed down at my hands. The glove on my right hand was completely covered in bright red now instead of white. Only the hand of the other side was blood stained. Instantly and at lightning speed I ripped at the gloves, yanking them off my hands only to find that my hands underneath was also blood soaked.

My throat tightened and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. I sucked in air desperately, trying to fill my lungs but no matter how much I tried I couldn’t breathe. Panic was thick in me now. I couldn’t take my eyes away from my bloody hands - it was all that I saw. The sight horrified and sickened me to the core.  I felt I was about to throw up my entire stomach.

Strong firm hands gripped my shoulders yanking me up and spinning me around in the same instant. I recognized Eric at once and I grabbed him immediately wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his chest. I just wanted to disappear from here - I was too ashamed.

His hands wrapped around me tightly as if he was trying to keep me from falling apart. I heard his heart playing a gentle steady song in his chest. His breaths were warm and comforting against my skin. Slowly I realized that I was beginning to calm down. My heart slowed until it matched his perfectly and eventually I found my breaths coming back. “Are you okay?” he whispered holding my shoulders a little away from him so he could look me over.

“I killed Zane,” I mumbled staring at the ground.

“I know,” he said and a wide grin pierced his lips even though he was trying to hold it back. “I saw - we all saw actually.”

“I’m not a killer Eric,” I heard myself mutter. “I swear to you that I’m not. I’m not a bad person. . . I was so angry at him and I . . . I didn’t - I - it was like something - it wasn’t me,” I spluttered desperate to make him understand.

“That’s what a vampire’s anger is like Jen . .  It’s okay - the son of a b*tch had that coming. . . Trust me when I say that he would have died either way tonight,” he grumbled angrily while turning me to face the gym. I saw Dean, Jason, Dina and Katalin staring at us. Dean and Jason were talking to each other, Dina was staring at Zane’s body grudgingly and Katalin was leaning against the wall looking bored and uninterested.