This book is designed to show you, the RC (restaurant customer), how you sabotage your own dining experiences.
Before we go any further, we need to break down the main types of RCs. There are the Daily Diners. These individuals have a busy lifestyle that practically forces them to eat out three or more times a week. Some of them consume all of their meals at restaurants. These folks are not really looking for an “experience”. Restaurants are merely functional, a part of life. Then there are Frequent Diners. They eat out three or four times a month. Think couples with “date nights”, families who go out every week after Little Timmy’s soccer game, that sort of thing. Frequent Diners look forward to restaurant night, and they are hoping for a fun time. What is the last main type of diner? That would be the Special Event Diners. These folks go out three or four times a year, at the most. We’re talking Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Dad’s birthday, that kind of thing. Special Event Diners are definitely looking for an experience, because they know they won’t be back out at a restaurant for another six months or more!
Now don’t get me wrong, this book is for anyone who will ever dine out again in their life- whether it will be on your lunch break tomorrow, or not until next Sweetest Day (provided you have a date). However, for those of you who want a particularly wonderful night out on the town, pay special attention. You have the power to sabotage your own dining experience! And that starts before you even arrive at the restaurant. It begins with your attitude, and that of your dining companion(s).
If you’re having a bad day, the restaurant staff can tell. How, you ask? Do they have ESP? Hardly, and this is a common misconception, the psychic server. We will get into that later, debunk that whole deal, and get that out of your systems once and for all! Servers can’t read minds. But they can put two and two together, especially when you’ve got a permanent scowl on your face.
Nine times out of ten, your bad attitude has already ruined your dining experience. A server is not a miracle worker! Your foul mood colors your perception of everything that happens to you. A fifteen minute wait for a table turns into thirty in your mind. A server who politely informs you she’ll be with you in one moment had an attitude when she said it, as far as you’re concerned.
Here is one of the many valuable insights I will impart upon you throughout this book. A server will only deal with so much unprovoked crap from an RC before they will shut down on you. What do I mean by that? Am I telling you your server will stop serving you? No, of course not. However, your server will cease to give you 100% of the service level they are capable of. If I have five tables, and one of them is being a royal pain in the butt, they are not only bumming me out, but they are affecting the experience of my other tables as well! Holding me hostage while they whine and complain about every little minute thing, loudly berating me, carrying on a running commentary of all the faults they’ve discovered in the restaurant from the time they pulled in the parking lot… NO ONE wants to deal with you, not your server, or anyone else around you! Smart money says the people you are dining with are probably embarassed and sick of you. Your server will stop coming to your table, unless it is strictly necessary, ie to deliver your food or the check. I have accepted that you are a world-class putz who is impossible to please and I’d rather keep my four other normal tables happy. You have communicated to me loud and clear that if you tip at all, it will be so not worth the abuse you have already heaped upon me, that I would be a fool to continue to leave myself open for anymore of your crap. Your dinner companions will suffer as well, because refills will be few and far in-between. This is your fault, and you could have avoided all of this by checking your attitude at the door. Your server is there to serve you food, not to absorb the negative side effects of your bad mood! How would you like it if I snapped at you as soon as you sat in my section because my husband and I had a fight, the table behind you was mean to me, and I really didn’t feel like being at work that day? You wouldn’t, so, you know, do unto others and all of that.
