After 2

Chapter 154.

What feels like hours go by before Hardin finally comes back home. I have since showered, cleaned up the kitchen, and read fifty pages of Moby Dick on my Nook. Most of the time that has passed has been filled with me thinking of every possibility of his behavior and what he will say. He fact that he didn't want me to leave so that is a good thing. Right? I sure hope so. The entire night is a blur but I remember the key points.

Hardin was beyond intoxicated, angry, and aggressive. I brought this upon myself in a way for being irrational and kissing that guy in front of Hardin but I wish he would have been more understanding of my intoxicated state. Then again, Hardin and understanding are not two things that typically go together. I just want him to forgive me, I will grovel as much as I need to.

When I hear the click of the front door I instantly still. Everything I have been preparing to say to him vanishes from my mind, I sit the nook down on the table and sit up on the couch.

When Hardin walks through the door he is wearing a grey sweatshirt and his signature black jeans. He doesn't leave the house in anything except black and occasionally white, so the contrast is a little strange but the sweatshirt makes him look younger somehow. His hair is messy and pushed off of his forehead and his eyes have dark circles under them.

In his hand is a lamp, different from the one he shattered last night but very similar.

"Hey." He says and runs his tongue along his bottom lip before pulling his lip ring between his teeth.

"Hi." I mutter in return.

"How..how did you sleep?" He asks.

I stand from the couch as he walks towards the kitchen.

"Good.." I lie.

"That's good." He says.

It is evident that we are both treading very lightly, afraid to say the wrong thing.

He stands by the counter and I stay near the fridge.

"I uhm.. I got a new lamp." He nods at the lamp in his hands. before sitting it on the counter.

"It's nice." I feel anxious, very anxious.

"They didn't have the one we had but they.." He begins.

"I'm so sorry." I blurt, interrupting him.

"Me too... well sort of."

"Sort of?"

"Yeah.. I mean I am sorry for some of it but not most."

"Okay.." I want to ask him to elaborate but I decide against it.

"Well I am sorry for all of it, I am so sorry. Last night was not supposed to go that way." I say.

"That is surely an understatement."

"It was a terrible night. I should have let you explain yourself before I kissed someone, it was stupid and immature of me."

"Yes it was. I shouldn't have had to explain myself, you should have trusted me and not jumped to conclusions." He leans his elbows on the counter behind him and I fiddle with my fingers, trying not to pick a the skin around my fingernails.

"I know. I am sorry."

"I heard you the first ten times Tess."

"Are you going to forgive me? You were talking about kicking me out."

"I wasn't talking about kicking you out, I was just saying that relationships do not work." He shrugs.

A big part of me was praying that he wouldn't remember the things he was saying last night. He basically told me that marriage is for fools and that he should be alone.