Chapter 15: Tell Me She'll Be Okay (And I'll Be Okay Too)

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I let out a sigh as I collapsed onto the soft cotton couch, the furniture convulsing slightly under Jay and I's combined weight. It was a rickety article at best, but considering the Paddy's Market piece had lasted the family a good ten years I was pretty impressed that it hadn't given out completely.

Sighing contently, I shifted slightly so that I was nestled into Jay's warm figure, taking care not to spill the steaming mug of tea in my hands. My parents were both out at Mass (again doing the coffee morning) so Jay and I had the house to ourselves. And we'd settled for the very British option of tea and Sunday morning telly.

I raised the cup to my lips, hot liquid sloshing over the rim and dribbling down my fingers. Swearing, I leant over and licked the tea off. Didn't want it to go to waste after all. Jay laughed as I lapped up the droplets, his jittering frame knocking me even more off balance.

"Hey!" I complained, placing the cup down on the coffee table to give him a rough shove. Not that it really did anything of course, me being a skinny little squirt and Jay being Mr Athletic. But hey, at least I tried. Jay smiled.

"Sorry," he mumbled and looked down at me with wide, doe eyes. I scowled.

"Whatever."

He gave me a half smile and sneakily wound an arm around my shoulders, squishing me up against his side so that my arm was draped over his thigh and my head rested on his shoulder. I blushed a deep scarlet colour, and continued to glower at the smiling redhead presenting the weather as though it was somehow her fault my knees turned to jelly every time I was around Jay. Rays of sunlight slipped through the blinds and shone a white glare on a good half of the TV screen, but I was only half-focused on the telly anyway.

Being enveloped in Jay's arms was much more preoccupying.

"Hey Jay, gonna pass me the tea?" I whined, playfully nudging him with my elbow. He grinned, and ruffled my hair. I drew a sharp intake of breath at his closeness to my face and my gaze briefly wandered to his soft lips, but I shook my head and looked away.  I had to stop turning into a lovesick teenage girl every time Jay was around.

Even if he was my boyfriend. Key word there being mine. I smiled at the thought.

A piping hot mug was pressed against my fingers. I yelped, prompting Jay to burst into laughter again.

"Oh, shut up," I snapped, tipping the mug backwards without a second thought and chugged it down, only half aware of Jay's curious gaze focusing on me like a spotlight.

"I want to tell my mum."

And a furious cough ruptured my throat. After a brief but highly embarrassing spluttering session, I spewed out the half swallowed tea back into the cup and shuddered. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I turned back to Jay, who was shielding himself with folded arms.

"What?" I croaked. Jay mumbled something unintelligible under his breath.

"Dude," I groaned. "Please."

And, I slowly reached over and wound his fingers with mine. A small smile crept across his face and he took a deep breath before continuing.

"I, um... I want to tell my mum," he whispered, his eyes squeezed tight shut as if in prayer. "About me. About you. About us."

I drew in a deep, shuddering breath.

"Are you serious?"

He blinked back a few shimmering tears and I gulped, a bit put off by the fact I'd upset him.

"I mean, uh," I struggled to find the right words, the right condolences. I really, really didn't feel comfortable with revealing my sexuality yet, however hard I tried to convince myself that it didn't matter. Just the idea of dropping that bombshell on my parents... It sent an icy shiver down my spine. But I took a deep breath and pushed the thought away.

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