College Life

Chapter Five

               It is me who they're talking about. But why does Phil have to mention that? Jeez. It was onetime that we did it together, let it go!

               I had a mental image of Rayne crossing his arms right now. I bet he was doing it.

               He does it a lot.

               I think he does it when he feels insecure.

               "What ever," He muttered so low I almost didn't catch it. "I'm going back to my room. Later."

               "Alright, take care."

               So now Phil and Priscella are hanging out with Rayne? My two best friends? How could they ... am I being replaced? How could they ... after everything we've been through ... they choose ... him.

               I grunted, hitting my head against the wall. Ow. 

               I'm not sure how long I stayed here, but it felt like years. I wonder how Priscella and Phil keep up with me. What if they feel ashamed of being my friend? What if it was all just a lie?

               I'm hurting a human being, yes, Rayne is a human being. I know I don't act like it but ... he is still a human being. My sister would have been ashamed of me ... She would have cleared my mind and helped me become a better person.

               What would she have done? Probably smack some sense into me. But I can't help it ... every time I think of a gay person ... it just reminds me of how that one sexuality ruined my childhood, my life. And how my sister's life was lost.

               I don't know what to do. I feel so alone right now. I feel alone at all times. There is no one there for me, ever.

               I hugged myself, slowly descending on the floor, I felt cold.

               I missed her. She was the only person that could make me feel better, even if she was younger than me. In a maturity level, she was way beyond me.

               Without her, there is no one to keep me cool, to keep me human. Now I'm going all over hating gay people. Rayne isn't the first. And I'm pretty sure he wasn't the last.

               But watching him in pain, how can he still stay strong? His parents disown him and yet he has to deal with me on his back. Maybe it's time to just drop it all. But it won't be easy...I'll try my best though.

               Wow, I never noticed how comfortable the floor is. I could lay here all day by myself and just go wild. I'll make floor angels and everything.

               Suddenly thunder erupted in the sky, it made me scramble to my feet and run away before some killer with a machete appears. 

               It's been raining all day and it sucks.

               Phil was already in our room by the time I arrived, he was laying on his bed with a laptop in front of his face. He looked up when I threw myself at my bed.

               "Thought you were going to stay longer."

               I scoffed. "I can't stand those girls."

               He shrugged.

               I nodded at him,"So what's up with you and Rayne?"

                "You were spying on us?"

               "No," I mumbled. "I happened to be walking by and saw you two. So ... I ... Hid ... Got a problem?!"