From the outside, I always wondered what people thought when they looked in at my life. Was I looked at as the innocent one the undercover freak. Was I the victorious successful woman reaching for dreams, that some might think were unattainable? Well, for a while all I could really think of was nothing. Simply empty nothing within me. The things I did or didn’t do, meant not a damn thing in this crazy messed up and cruel world. In more ways than one I thought you would always be screwed over. And you know what, for the most part that’s true. However the day came when I had to step back and look at the mess I had created for myself. No one is perfect, that saying is true, but at times you are so messed up there is no pulling out of it.
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Her eyes opened suddenly, as she lay there in bed with only an overly sized t-shirt on. She awoke feeling as though her dream had been real. She slowly lifted herself to sit up, as her head pounded. The soft plush comfort of the bed touched all the right places where she was now feeling pain. Her back, legs, and arms made her feel as though she was not in her body. Sadly the pulsating pain brought her back into herself. As she got into an upright position she was slowly coming into realization that she was not in her own bed. She was in so much of a daze, that it was becoming difficult to figure out where she was. Fear immediately caused her heart to pump hard and fast in her chest as tried to think of whose house she was at. Her eyes widened as she slowly turned her head praying no one was there. She scanned the messy room where empty bottles, chairs and other furniture that had been toppled, and clothes and sheets covered the floor. no no no… this is not real… this is not real this can’t be happening again, she thought to herself. Her eyes looked over her right shoulder, to see nothing but a pile of pillows. Thankfully no one was there.
Though she was in immense pain, she had to get up and get the hell out of there. She swung her long legs off the bed and bit her lower lip to keep her from moaning in pain. She bent over and bit her lip even harder. Damn what the hell happened last night. She tried her best to organize her thoughts as she was lifting and searching for her clothes. She found her pants and slipped them on carefully. She buttoned them and finally found her shirt. She threw off the oversized T-Shirt to put on hers. From beyond the door.
“Shit shit, Fuck” She whispered still searching for her shoes.
“Neem…. Nima? You up yet?” she heard a deep yet familiar voice call. Nima? Who the fuck is Nima? She had either forgotten her name or created one so this guy wouldn’t know who she really was? It was getting hard for even Milani to know who even she was. Her luck was running out fast, she found a shoe but she was going to have to leave the other one behind. If she had done what she thought she had last night, she didn’t want to look at this man again in the eyes.
She lifted the Window and looked out, not too far of a jump, she thought. She swung both of her legs out. She heard the door open behind her.
“Milani! What the hell?” She was just about to jump out the window…
“Dean?” She said in a ghostly yet surprised voice, feeling her body being to fall. She had lost balance and was just about to fall outside. Dean ran as fast as he could into catch her perhaps tripping over the messy room. He wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her back inside.
“What the hell? You crazy woman!” He yelled as he lifted her from the window sill. He placed her gently back onto his bed, and sat at the foot of it. She looked up at him and all he had on was a wife beater and a pair of dark jeans. She realized she had never really been in his bedroom before. Though they had known each other for years, she had no reason to be there to begin with. In its current state it looked horrible. There was awkward silence for a while, which gave her reason to over think… that perhaps she… And him... actually...
