Copyright © 2011 Kirsty Moseley
****Banner made by Maria Anier – thanks honey! <3 ****
I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and considered calling Ellie, I just really needed to speak to her right now, just hear her voice for a second to pull me out of the slump I was falling into. I could feel the depression pulling at the edges of my system and I really wanted to see Ellie so I could think about something else.
It scared me how much I needed her, I had never needed anyone in my life, I made sure I could take care of myself, I worked hard so that I never had to rely on anyone then I would never get let down. If I didn’t depend on anyone then I wouldn’t have to feel the rejection and disappointment when they screwed up or gave up on me. I had learnt at an early age that the only one I could depend on was myself.
In a way I wished I had never met Ellie, that I had just pushed through my life without ever feeling like this, then I would have no one that could hurt me, I wouldn’t have to worry about losing her. But another part of me knew that what I had before Ellie wasn’t a life, it was just an existence where I just cruised through life on a knife edge. One side of the knife was depression and sadness, the other side of the knife was the crime that I used to think was normal.
I pulled her number up on my screen, just looking at it. I could just start the car again and drive back to her side, we could go see the movie and I could pretend that my mother died when Sophie did. I could go to Ellie and turn my back on the only family I had left and let her deal with her problems herself, she didn’t deserve my help anyway.
But that wasn’t me. I would never walk away from her like that, I guess that was part of a flaw in my character, that I cared about other people, some people would see that as a flaw I guess, I knew Ellie wouldn’t see it as that though.
I couldn’t call her, I needed to just get this done. I pushed my phone back into my pocket and gulped as I looked back to the house. Maybe she wasn’t even here and I wouldn’t have to go inside, maybe I should try the local bars first in the hope that I would see her there instead. I mentally shook myself and knew I needed to just get over this and do it, I needed to face my demons instead of pretending that all that bad stuff didn’t happen.
I clenched my jaw and pushed the car door open, stepping out quickly, slamming it shut before I jumped back in and drove away as fast as I could, never to look upon this place again. I put one hand on the top of the car to steady my body, and took a couple of deep breaths. Come on Jamie, you can do it, turn around and walk to the door and knock.
I slammed my hands down on the roof of my car and after calling myself a pussy a couple of times in my head, I turned and stalked to the door, a fierce determination settling over me. I’d get this done, sort her out and then leave and that would be it.
I knocked while I still had the nerve and stood there waiting for her to come to the door. I couldn’t help but wonder what her reaction to me would be, hell, maybe she wouldn’t even recognise me after all this time. She hadn’t seen me since I got sent down, she didn’t once visit me in juvie. The last time I saw her I was in court where I pleaded guilty for murder and was led off in a pair of handcuffs while she watched from the stand, not even crying for me.
The door opened within a minute and my heart was in my throat at the sight of her. She looked older than I remembered, the five years hadn’t been kind to her, she looked a lot older than her thirty-eight years. Ray was right about one thing, she was in a bad way. Her cheek was bruised, her lip split and there was a little cut in her eyebrow. Fell down the stairs my ass, you could practically see the fist print on the side of her face.
Her brown eyes that were the exact shade of mine, settled on me and were curious for a split second before recognition washed over her face and her mouth dropped open in shock. Her whole posture changed, instead of the relaxed woman that opened the door, leaning against the door frame in her slutty skirt and low cut top, she seemed to stiffen all over, her shoulders squaring off as her eyes turned hard.
|Sean Faris||as Jamie|
|Ashley simpson||as Ellie|
|Sean Bean||as Brett|
|Hayden Christensen||as Mark|
|Marcia Cross||as Ruth (Ellie's mum)|
|Jason Bateman||as Michael (Ellie's dad)|
|Dave Annable||as Ray|
|Trey Songz||as Dodger|
|Ryan Phillippe||as Terry|