The Unholy Trinity II

Chapter Twenty-three

Fallon tried to ignore the burning inside of her as she dug in her backpack for her math book. Lucian was right about how difficult this would be. She decided it was time to try Griffin’s trick.      

Okay, I can’t even look at him. Griffin is the male version of Medusa. If I look at him, I’ll be turned to stone, she thought, and he cracked up beside her. Get out of my mind and stop making this harder!         

Sorry. 

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him bury his nose in his notebook and start scribbling away. Though she tried hard to concentrate on Miss Timbers, she couldn’t stop thinking about him and wondering what he was writing.           

Fallon let out a huge sigh when first period came to an end and Griffin sauntered out of class without waiting for her or Lucian. Pretending not to care about him was going to take some getting used to. She wondered how he’d been able to do it so well for so long.        

In second period, Fallon climbed onto the bleachers for what she knew would be the last time. This time tomorrow, her cast would be off and she’d be able to play volleyball with everyone else. As she dug in her backpack for her notebook, she thought she noticed a group of girls looking in her direction. She figured they were talking about her house burning down. It never ceased to amaze her the way rumors could fly so fast around their school. Fallon came up with her notebook and flipped it open. Her heart paused in her chest to see Griffin’s writing on the page beneath her. Now she knew what he’d been doing in math class.        

Fallon,            

I knew this would be hard, but this isn’t what I expected. It’s harder than it was before we made love. Lucifer, that sounds corny when I say it like that. Seventeen year olds don’t make love. The thing is you deserve better than me saying something guy-speak like before we fucked or banged or boned or got down or did the deed or… Sorry got carried away. Anyway, I know there’s nothing fair about this fucked up situation the three of us are in, but this is beyond the regular definition of unfair. I keep thinking I should be able to tell the world how I feel about you. I’ve never let a girl this close to me you know. Even the ones I dated a long time. It’s too dangerous. I guess that’s why this is harder. No one knows me like you do. You know all my deepest, darkest secrets. You’ve been a part of the most humiliating things in my life. You’ve seen me cry and held me instead of laughing at me. You know where to kiss me to turn me on and how to touch me. You know the name of the first girl I kissed and fucked and the first guy I beat up and why. Hell, you even know I beat off daily and what I think about when I do. You know my favorite foods and movies and music. You know what scares me and what makes me laugh. You know me inside and out just like you wanted. I belong to you, and it drives me insane that I can’t share this with the world. I keep trying to make myself feel better by telling myself that it’s better if it’s our secret. It means more if we don’t have to share it. I tell myself that, but I don’t believe myself. How am I supposed to do this, Fallon? How am I supposed to convince everyone I don’t feel anything for the only girl I’ve ever felt something for? How?            

Fallon’s heart beat hard and fast as she read and then reread his words. There was so much she wished she could say to make him feel better, but none of it made any sense. Everything he was feeling was everything she felt.            

Though she knew it wouldn’t be what he wanted to hear, she wrote just three words: I don’t know.         

As usual, Lucian came to meet her outside the gym so he could walk her to her third period class. Fallon offered him a smile when she spotted him. Lucian was the one thing in her life that made sense at the moment.