chapter six

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Yes that's what I said James was on the floor, face down and balling.

"James!" I yelled, "What the hell are you doing here and why the hell are you crying?"

"Hm....what, oh hey Bell fancy seeing you here." He said as he slowly wobbled his way up using the wall. "Bella i miss you so much." He said tears streaming down his face then he leaned in for a kiss.

Oh no I don't want him to kiss me when he's not even going to remember it. He won't even mean it he's drunker than a door nail. I wanted to kiss him so bad because I missed him to, but I don't want to hurt myself again. Because he wanted me just for pleasure while he was drunk. His lips were slowly getting closer, but I quickly pushed away.

"James why are you doing this to me?" I asked him tears now streaming down  my face.

He never replied after that because he fell over and passed out. Wow he must really be drunk. Somehow I picked him and like rolled/pushed him up onto my bed where he layed passed out. I was most definitely not sleeping with him no matter how much my body wanted to. So then I got a blanket from the bed and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up around nine and James was still sleeping, so I got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. I turned the shower off when I was done, but right before I was going to hop out someone opened the door to the bathroom and walked in. I hurd a really weird noise that I prayed was not peeing. I peeked out the shower curtain hesitantly and sure enough James was peeing while I was in the shower, oh my god this is so awkward.

"Um James can you hurry up so I can get out of the shower?" I said trying to hold in a laugh.

I hurd a slight scream then finally he said,

"Oh sorry I didn't know you where in here." Then I hurd the door close and then made sure the cost was clear before I rapped myself in a towel and got out of the shower.

I thanked got that my bath rob was in my bathroom I really didn't want to go out to face James in only a towel that could end very badly. I walked out of the bathroom and found James on my couch his face in his hands. He looked up and into my eyes.

"Bell i am so sorry." He pleaded with me.

"I know." I said.

"I cant believe I put you through that last night."

"Yeah well I can, its a guys nature to screw up sometimes." "I'm not going to forgive you easily your going to have to show me that you want to be with me, that you care about me." I said in a shaky breath trying to hold back sobs.

"I do want to be with you and I'm never going to give up. I promise I will never hurt you again."

"Prove it then maybe we will talk. Just tell me something did you want to kiss that girl?"

"No."

I didn't say anything to his reply because I was actually socked. I made my way to my door to show James out because he was really distracting with no shirt on. I guess he took it off sometime during the night I was glad I was so mad at him otherwise it would have been hard  to keep my hand to myself while we talked.

"Well this was nice, but I have to get ready now so i'll see you around." I said opening the door.

He got up and walked out the door then he turned around, but before I grabbed him and had my way with him like my body wanted I quickly closed the door. I hurd him sigh and walk away. I wish that I could have just forgave him, but I knew that would never happen because he hurt me too much to forgive him easily. He was not just going to get away with it I had to make him at least feel bad for a while. Make him wish that it never happened so he could still have me in his arms. I made my way to my closet and put on a flowly yellow tank top and some dark blue jeans. I went to the dinning room to see if my dad was still in there even though it was past breakfast time i thought it was worth a shot. i felt horrible for how my dad must have felt because of what I said. Luckily when I finally made it there he was still there drinking his coffee and reading the paper.

"Hi dad." I said as I sat down beside him.

"I didn't see you at all yesterday."

"Yeah I had to have  a day just to myself I wasn't having such a great time yesterday." I said. "Listen I'm sorry about what I said the other day, I don't know why I acted like that, it was totally out of line."

"Oh Bella you had every right to say what you said I was being a bit pushy."

"No, I agreed with it and I should have just went with it."

"I just don't understand why you got so upset when you figured out it was James. I mean whats wrong with James?"

I started to panic because I really didn't want to lie to my dad, but I was not going to tell him about me and James. Either way I would feel bad because if I told him the truth then James would most likely lose his job, but if I didn't tell him I would just feel horrible about lying to him. Before I could answer I asked him a question that had been bugging me a lot since I saw James at our table for breakfast.

"Why do you want me to go to the party with James?"

"I don't know I mean I like him and I think that he could make you happy."

"So you mean like happy as a friend or something more?" I asked so confused at this point that I surprised my brain didn't blow up.

"Something more I guess." He said shyly. "I should have never put you in that position, I'm sorry Bell."

"Its okay dad." I said as he rapped his arms around me, we had a touching moment in tell he said,

"Okay now quite avoiding the question, why did you get so upset and mad when you found out it was James?"

Dam it I thought I was going to get out of that. Crap I still didn't know what I wanted to do about this.

"Um I don't now I just got mad because you were being so controlling I guess." I said in a shaky breath. It was good that hes never caught me lying before because if he had I would not have gotten away with that.

"Oh well I'm sorry I'll try and work on that, its hard for me though because I'm so used to it. I am the president in case you haven't notice." He said with a smirk.

"Oh okay dad." I said laughing for real this time."

"Oh I almost forgot, are you hungry." My dad said laughing with me.

"Oh my gosh yes I'm starving." I said.

"Okay good lets eat."

After we were done eating I went and walked around trying to find the garden I was in the other day. I loved the gardens here they always made me feel good. I finally found it in the big maze of the white house, but when I got there I found James sitting on a bench. Then I walked up to him even though my brain was telling me to run and find a different garden.

"I thought I would find you here." James said finally smiling that smile I loved, I swear my bones started to melt its a good thing I sat down before I fell over.

"Yeah I like it here." I said returning a smile one that in a million years would never be as beatiful as his, but I didn't want to be mean and not smile back.

A/N I hope this was a long enough chapter for you guys and I hope you liked it. Please comment fan and vote, I love reading your guy's comments they make me smile LOL. Remember the more you guys comment the faster I will update. :)

xoxo Lindsey

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