Chapter 4 Love is declared and acknowledged. Liz wins through

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I woke with a start. The nurse said, "Sorry, but we're going to move her to the general ward. And we need to do things. She's off the danger list. We'll keep her in for three day's observation." 

"Jesus, what time is it?" 

"Morning, and you snore." said Ruth laughing. 

"Oh my love, you're better. How wonderful. Ouch, I feel stiff. You'd snore if you were in that damn chair." 

I tottered onto my feet, and bent to kiss Ruth. She raised her face to mine and put her hand behind my head. "Dearest, thank you for my life and your love. See you in a bit. Your car keys are there with a note from the girls," and then she gave me a warm kiss. 

"If you wait outside you can go with her to the ward," said the nurse in a 'let's get moving, none of this kissing nonsense' voice. 

I forebore to remark that probably attempted suicides want love and affection as much as medication. Although I remembered Claire who had been a nurse, saying that they were not popular patients. 

We walked down the long shiny corridor, I holding two plastic bags of Ruth's effects, and she wrapped in a black dressing gown with huge red dragons on it, being wheeled in a chair by a nurse. Outside the sky was blue, and white fluffy clouds shed rapidly moving shadows across the distant hills. 

I compared Ruth's face with when I had met her the first time. I should have realized when she was devouring the toast how drawn she was. Had she been giving the girls her share of the food? Well that was something tangible I could bring to the table - cash. 

I saw her settled in. I sat beside her bed, and read the note from the girls. 

"Graham dear, 

We brought Ruth her things, and we've done as you asked and stocked up with food and gas. Come and join us at the 'van if you have time. We'll see Ruth every day. 

The car doesn't seem to be as fast as when you drive it, mind you we don't have that needle in the red bit so often. 

Love Pat and Amanda - as daughter figures!" 

I chuckled. "They're a pair. Where did you find them?" 

"Refugees from a care-home. They were terrible at first. They wouldn't have talked to you three years ago. Their only experience of men your age was as abusers. You're a very privileged person if they trust you." 

"Ruth, I have to go and phone work, and get something to eat, and do some shopping. I'll be back about two. Is that alright?" 

"Of course. I have no claim on your time." 

I held her chin to look into her golden eyes, "I hate to say this but I resent that. You have every right to my time. Surely that's what we've been saying to each other. That's what love is. If you don't understand that then we, I, have a problem." 

She moved her head so as to kiss my hand, and then she took it in both hands. She looked at me, and then leant her head on her hands with eyes shut. 

She looked up with desperation on her face and tears in her eyes, "How can I make you understand. I can't take your love for granted because I can't give mine to you in any lifestyle you'll be happy in. 

"At least not until - until - not until you are rid of Claire's - presence. You know I'm telepathic. We talk. But I can hear when we don't talk. She's there, not an evil thing she was a lovely person. But I can't take the continuous competition for your attention. 

"I'm not going to put you into a lifestyle you haven't chosen for yourself, and fight off Claire. You'd end up loathing me. And the lifestyle you have now I can't share. 

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