-CHAPTER TWENTY TWO-

Triss' POV

I just realized, they had been scamming me.
They had taken my dreams and literally thrown them away. Along with two hundred freaking dollars. Now I was in an unbelievable world of crap. The shit had hit the fan so to say.
I walked aimlessly through the street, at one point I thought I even heard Jake calling my name but I knew it was just my imagination. Jake would never come looking for me, he'd probably forgotten me already, which was so awful because what we had had felt so special... but that was Jake not me. Jake could make anything special, that was why I lov-
I sat down on a park bench, watching the people walk past and wondered what I was going to do now. I could beg I guess, but how could I do that? I leant back and stared at the unforgiving grey sky. It was going to rain, I could tell, not just rain but completely tip it down. The heavens would open right on top of me in my thin coat and nowhere to go for cover, I don't know. Maybe I could find an alleyway.
An alleyway for Christ's sakes.
I wished I was back home, in my room, or in my shed, my own private space which I missed so much. But before dad had left, before Jake had come, before any of this had ever happened.
It was starting to get dark before I moved, and it was drizzling and my hair was really wet. I shivered, standing up because my limbs were starting to freeze. I couldn't sleep outside, I couldn't. New York was freezing and I would probably never wake up. I shuddered at the thought and walked through the streets and alleyways lit by neon lights and sometimes none at all. I could see people walking the shadows, their faces hidden and I stared at the floor, letting my hair fall over my face so no one could see me, and see the tears I shed as I thought about everything that had happened.
I wondered how Jake had reacted when he had found the letter. When he had read what I had said. Would he blame himself? I hoped not, because Jake was perfect and everything that happened was my fault and my fault entirely. We were just never meant to be thinking otherwise was just wishful thinking, but it didn't seem fair that fate had made me love him only to tear me away from him when I realized it.
I wondered if he loved me. I wondered if when he read those words, he wished he'd been around to hear them, or was happy to get out before everything got too serious. I wondered if he had been waiting to say it himself, but didn't find the time. I wondered if I was just rebound off his amazing ex girlfriend and that even if he liked me, he was just seeing her. We probably even looked the same. He probably didn't even have to try hard.
I wondered, I wondered until my mind hurt and the sun had completely disappeared from the sky and was replaced by an almost dark blackness. In the city the pollution meant it never got dark. I missed the sky at home where I could see every star in the sky and the beautiful moon peering through wisps of cloud even though just yesterday I had seen it. It didn't feel like I was even under the same sky.
What if Jake was looking up, just like me, and seeing my face among those stars?
Wishful thinking, I pulled my eyes away from the sky and looked at the dark floor filled with puddles that looked like oil spills and couldn't ever have anything to do with something wonderful like Jake.
'Alright baby' I looked up at a group of men. They were walking down the alleyway in the opposite direction to me. Stay calm Triss, stay calm.
'Not really' I replied, trying to keep my voice from quavering.
'Cute' said one of them, as they approached.
'Yeah, she is' said another and I shuddered to myself. 'Can I make it better?'
'No' I said, standing aside so they could pass by but they stopped staring at me.
'Aww shame' he said. They were drunk, I could tell, but that didn't make anything better.
'Fine' I turned to walk away but one of them grabbed my arm and pulled me nearer to him.
'Do you have anywhere to go?' he asked. My heart was pounding in fear and I felt like I was about to pass out in panic.
'None of your business' I replied.
'That means no' said one of his friends.
'How about my bed, it's very comfortable' he said, grinning. That was when I kicked him in the shin, hard and he let go of my arm, cursing. 'Bitch' he spat as his friends laughed behind him. I turned round, running as hard as I could across the wet and slightly icy ground, until I slid over and fell on the floor, smashing my head against a wall. It hurt, I saw stars but there was no blood. I sat there, on the wet floor with the coldness soaking through my clothes and stared at the darkness around me. It was hopeless, I couldn't do anything. My life was over, if I died now nothing would be ending, it had ended a long time ago.