Become a fan
definately keep writing.
this was amazing btw, you can really write!
i want to read more stuff you've written (other than raising cane) coz youre annoyingly good! :P
Z. xx
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[PG-13] Parents Strongly Cautioned
This is my first proper attempt at extended writing this piece was for my Extension 2 English Major Works for Yr12. this piece is written about real people myself (alena - not my real name) and my two friends Shannon and Liz these are our real disabilities and real dreams, Clarisse and Luke are also basedon real people. i hope you enjoy this please rate and comment, i would love to hear what you think any questions just mesage me!
note on the title white= hospitals , gold = gold medal
TITLE - WHITE GOLD
God blew the south wind,
and created the horse.
My reason to be.
Character Sheet
Main
Shannon: 19, Cerebral Palsy - muscle will not extend; mild longitudinal paralysis on right side; walks with a limp; born 24 wks prematurely minor brain damage and lung deficiency
Hospitalised: Operation for tendon release/ graft
RDA Grade: 3.
Horse: Ariel
Lizbeth: 17, early onset Multiple Sclerosis; suffers bad fatigue, nausea, muscle cramps, dizziness balance problems; certain body parts go numb; mobility and vision problems
Hospitalised: treatment of Optic Neuritis (treated with methylprednisolone/steroids), morphine for pain
RDA Grade: 3.
Horse: Razzie
Alena: 16, Sacral Agenesis: club foot and leg (right); horse-shoe kidney, neurogenic bladder (kidney infections; sublaxative joints
Hospitalised: treatment of peritonitis: gentamicin, fluids, catheter, nasal gastric tube remove to all pressure from peritoneum
RDA Grade: 4
Horse: Luce
Minor
Luke: 17, severe depression
Hospitalised: depression treatment post attempted suicide
Clarisse: 16, anorexia and bulimia
Hospitalised: counselling and weight rehabilitation
John: Lizbeth's father
Michael: Shannon's brother
Prologue - Alena, Shannon, Lizbeth
Alena -
work hard, work harder, work hardest. Maybe you'll get what you've wanted for so long
Shannon -
Doesn't matter how much it hurts, doesn't matter how much your body doesn't want to do it, override it. If you want it bad enough - it doesn't matter.
Lizbeth -
We do this for the love of the sport, not the fame. There are no parades for us, no money. We defy the very nature of our disability to prove we're just as good as you who look down on us.
So let us out of this sterile world. Let us overcome ourselves, let us fight for what we want; we're battle-proven and have the scars to prove it.
We want the crowds, the blinding lights. We want to stand on the podium and hold that gold medal up to the world and show that the pain, the hospital trips, the medications and everything we've been through were worthwhile and
so
are
we.
Get us away from this white. Give us the Gold.
We want to shine.
Citius, Altius, Fortius
Alena - Intro
God I'm over this.
Two days gone already. May I rip my hair out now
or anyone's head off, if they get too close?
Yes, I'm being grumpy.
Yes, I know that.
No, I'm probably not going to stop acting like a prat;
at least not until my anger and boredom levels go down.
Poor nurses; not their fault -
feel sorry for them, really I do.
So many other people to worry about
and they're stuck with me.
I think I should clear something up:
I'm not usually this foul tempered,
it's just that right now isn't a... convenient
time to be here... all that training and prep time... lost...
Screw this stupid malfunctioning body of mine. Fuckitall.
Oops! Here comes the nurse.
Mid-day obs all round people!
Okay, check your temper, Lee.
I smile at her. "Hey." She looks downright shocked.
Guess I've made a really big impression in the last 48 hours and
surprisingly, anger and boredom seem to have run their course.
There will, though, be penance for this.
Shannon - Intro
White room? Check.
White walls? Check.
White tiles? Check.
Bed? White.
Sheets? White.
Pillow? White.
Curtains? White.
White jodhpurs.
White shirt.
White stock.
White saddlecloth.
White gloves...
Hang on, where did all that go?
Yeah. Hospital's a horse-free zone...
Such is life.
Lizbeth - Intro
Painfuzzinessouch!
Damnthathurts! The white here makes it hard to tell everything apart.
Still, at least I can see some of it, blurry as it is.
Could do with some colour though,
it would distract me from these multiple pains in my eye.
Bright, deep red... no chestnut!
Ah Razzie, my beautiful girl, I miss you!
That's what I love... I ... I don't have to be able to see her,
I can feel her. I can talk to her through the
note on the title white= hospitals , gold = gold medal
TITLE - WHITE GOLD
God blew the south wind,
and created the horse.
My reason to be.
Character Sheet
Main
Shannon: 19, Cerebral Palsy - muscle will not extend; mild longitudinal paralysis on right side; walks with a limp; born 24 wks prematurely minor brain damage and lung deficiency
Hospitalised: Operation for tendon release/ graft
RDA Grade: 3.
Horse: Ariel
Lizbeth: 17, early onset Multiple Sclerosis; suffers bad fatigue, nausea, muscle cramps, dizziness balance problems; certain body parts go numb; mobility and vision problems
Hospitalised: treatment of Optic Neuritis (treated with methylprednisolone/steroids), morphine for pain
RDA Grade: 3.
Horse: Razzie
Alena: 16, Sacral Agenesis: club foot and leg (right); horse-shoe kidney, neurogenic bladder (kidney infections; sublaxative joints
Hospitalised: treatment of peritonitis: gentamicin, fluids, catheter, nasal gastric tube remove to all pressure from peritoneum
RDA Grade: 4
Horse: Luce
Minor
Luke: 17, severe depression
Hospitalised: depression treatment post attempted suicide
Clarisse: 16, anorexia and bulimia
Hospitalised: counselling and weight rehabilitation
John: Lizbeth's father
Michael: Shannon's brother
Prologue - Alena, Shannon, Lizbeth
Alena -
work hard, work harder, work hardest. Maybe you'll get what you've wanted for so long
Shannon -
Doesn't matter how much it hurts, doesn't matter how much your body doesn't want to do it, override it. If you want it bad enough - it doesn't matter.
Lizbeth -
We do this for the love of the sport, not the fame. There are no parades for us, no money. We defy the very nature of our disability to prove we're just as good as you who look down on us.
So let us out of this sterile world. Let us overcome ourselves, let us fight for what we want; we're battle-proven and have the scars to prove it.
We want the crowds, the blinding lights. We want to stand on the podium and hold that gold medal up to the world and show that the pain, the hospital trips, the medications and everything we've been through were worthwhile and
so
are
we.
Get us away from this white. Give us the Gold.
We want to shine.
Citius, Altius, Fortius
Alena - Intro
God I'm over this.
Two days gone already. May I rip my hair out now
or anyone's head off, if they get too close?
Yes, I'm being grumpy.
Yes, I know that.
No, I'm probably not going to stop acting like a prat;
at least not until my anger and boredom levels go down.
Poor nurses; not their fault -
feel sorry for them, really I do.
So many other people to worry about
and they're stuck with me.
I think I should clear something up:
I'm not usually this foul tempered,
it's just that right now isn't a... convenient
time to be here... all that training and prep time... lost...
Screw this stupid malfunctioning body of mine. Fuckitall.
Oops! Here comes the nurse.
Mid-day obs all round people!
Okay, check your temper, Lee.
I smile at her. "Hey." She looks downright shocked.
Guess I've made a really big impression in the last 48 hours and
surprisingly, anger and boredom seem to have run their course.
There will, though, be penance for this.
Shannon - Intro
White room? Check.
White walls? Check.
White tiles? Check.
Bed? White.
Sheets? White.
Pillow? White.
Curtains? White.
White jodhpurs.
White shirt.
White stock.
White saddlecloth.
White gloves...
Hang on, where did all that go?
Yeah. Hospital's a horse-free zone...
Such is life.
Lizbeth - Intro
Painfuzzinessouch!
Damnthathurts! The white here makes it hard to tell everything apart.
Still, at least I can see some of it, blurry as it is.
Could do with some colour though,
it would distract me from these multiple pains in my eye.
Bright, deep red... no chestnut!
Ah Razzie, my beautiful girl, I miss you!
That's what I love... I ... I don't have to be able to see her,
I can feel her. I can talk to her through the
[PG-13] Parents Strongly Cautioned
Comments & Reviews ^top@Dark_moon thanks heaps im working on something new atm ... but you might have to wait awhile for it to be finished with HSC study and what not!  HDdressage Oct 11, 2009 18:08 reply spam @AliceC thanks heaps alice C i appreciate your comments i might post some of my other stuff up here we'll see... as for my love of horses - for me their not just a partner, their a best friend and someone that understands every one of them has a personality and quirks and i love them for that.
also i appreciate your respect thats what we want, to be judged on a fair playing field thank you again for taking the time to read my work HD HDdressage Sep 18, 2009 01:52 reply spam hey :) amazing piece of writing. it was written passionately and filled with emotions of all kind. true emotions. heartbreaking emotions.
i think i might have an idea about your love for horses... it's been my dream to have a horse and be able to be free while riding it... but i suppose it's way deeper for you. i once read the Saddle Club (the whole series is about horses of course) and there was one part in which there was a girl that had cerebral palsy and too rode and loved horses... i honestly lived the feelings here with the characters... and that was because you wrote it so well and put so much heart into your work... i'm just sorry for what happens with ppl, it's so unfair. but i'm sure its not pity you want. and that's why i give you my respect and admiration. keep writing it seems to me you have got a talent for it. sincerely urs, AliceC  alleycat Sep 17, 2009 22:06 reply spam |
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