A Rose as Black as your Heart

(1) The funeral

Chapter 1

It was stiflingly hot inside the church. I shuffled uncomfortably on the pew, as my mother snuffled beside me, her face buried in her handkerchief. I had already cried all my tears; I felt like all the moisture had poured out my heart, and it was now a shrivelled up organ inside my chest. My emotions were as stiff as cardboard.

The priest at the front of the church droned on about what a great man my father had been, all the honourable things he had done, and how he was going to be sorely missed by everyone. At least he got one part right. Everyone had loved Geoffrey Rivera. He had been loud and funny and made everyone laugh, even me. He would’ve thought his own funeral was dull and pointless; I could imagine him grumbling beside me, whispering to me “Hey, Alexis, dare you to steal that lady’s hat.”

I smiled at the thought. My Dad may have been a laugh, but he definitely was not what you’d call ‘honourable’.

“Stop smiling,” Mom hissed angrily beside me. “Sit still.”

I stuck my tongue out at her childishly. Her lips tightened disapprovingly. That described my mother in one; tight lipped, straight-backed, sour-faced. Exactly the opposite to my Dad, which is why they eventually split up. He had been the only one who had been able to make Mom and I coincide with each other, but now he was gone, the friction between us was like rock.

Dabbing at her eyes with her handkerchief, Mom’s red-rimmed eyes raked disapprovingly over my outfit. I straightened my rainbow-coloured tutu stubbornly and turned my head to stare at the priest, my long, dark blonde hair forming a curtain between me and Mom. Rainbow-coloured wasn’t my normal colour at all, but I didn’t want to mourn any longer. I was done with being careful. What did it matter if people stared at me and wondered why I wasn’t mourning my own father’s funeral? Dad wouldn’t have cared.

I stared down at my thin pale legs, encased in rainbow, knee-length socks, and my small feet, resting in rainbow-coloured converse all-stars. I was surprised I’d managed to find so much rainbow coloured clothes in my wardrobe; usually, I wear black, to try and fade into the corners. I’m not a Goth or an Emo, I just like to blend in and not be noticed. It’s hard for people to notice you in the shadows. I’m not shy, though; I speak my mind and I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. If they don’t like me, that’s their problem.

So no-one really does like me. I’m the outsider, the weirdo, much to Mom’s annoyance. My best and only friend, Savannah, thinks I’m pretty strange too, but unlike everyone else, she doesn’t mind. She likes to mess around with tarot cards and fortune telling, so she’s a little weird too. I guess that’s why we get on so well.

Suddenly, murmurs began to swell out around me and people adorned in black all solemnly climbed to their feet. I looked around in confusion, my long straight hair accidently whipping my mother round the face.

“Alexis,” she hissed. “Stop tossing your hair around like that and stand up. The service just finished.” She grabbed my shoulder and tugged me to my feet. I stumbled slightly into the women beside me, my rainbow shoes slipping on the ground. She raked her eyes up and down my outfit, sniffing in disapproval.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” I snapped at her in irritation, straightening my rainbow cardigan. I was too hot and bothered to care about my manners.