Remember that this is just for fun and I'm not trying to impress anyone. However, if you have any comments, critical points, (praising! Just kidding!) please do. Please do it with tact though. I am a human, and I do have feelings.



Chapter 1: Don't Act So Surprised

Sum 41 filled my head with their song With Me. Part of one of the verses sings, "I wait here forever just to, to see you smile". I wondered if anyone did that for me. Did they at least try to make me smile for their own happiness?

I was in my barely-lit room, just writing in my diary. Lost in my own little world, I lied on my stomach with my elbows digging into my bed. The only thing running through my mind was about how I so desperately wanted to have a real social life. I was sixteen years old and I was still stuck in this li'l-miss-perfect image. Everyone knows the type. Perfect grades, perfect looks, and the perfect, uptight, rich family. I sound pathetic right now, but the truth is, I hate my life.

Yes, the outcasts probably would wish to be in my position. They're the ones that have to put up with the teasing, and all that crap.The point is, I feel lonely almost all the time. The freaky thing is, I'm never alone.

My so-called friends would try to make plans with me, and I eventually gave in. At times, I thought the only real friend I'd ever have was Ben, who lived a door down from me. Ben never tried to backstab just so that he could get into the next level of social life. I would kill for more friends like him. It frustrates me that finding friends like Ben isn't as easy as finding a penny in the middle of a Walmart parking lot.

After finding myself wondering what else to write in my diary, I gave up and put the diary in my jewelry box that my family never looks in. I changed into my pajamas, and got under the covers of my bed.

After having my eyes closed for only a few seconds, I heard a click. It was my window, from where Ben apparently had sneaked in.

"Hi," Ben greeted me shyly.

"What are you doing here? It's 11:45," I demanded.

"Couldn't sleep. I just wanted to chat."

That was so like Ben. He was always so tired. He slept in classes at school and sometimes at lunch.

"Oh," I replied apologetically.

I pushed the covers off my body and sat up onto my bed. As I pointed at the egg chair, he sat down.

Getting awfully comfy he asked, "So, why are you still up?"

"Well, unlike you, I was actually trying to sleep... then you came along."

"Whoops."

"Yeah... whoops," I said wearily.

"My dad is going psycho."

Ben's dad was a hardheaded, stubborn business man. He was CEO of some brand of a car company. Never could remember which one. Mr. Rickard could always turn your frown into an even more dreadful frown.

"What'd he do this time?"

"Same ol' stuff he does as always; he was just bugging me about how I needed to focus on becoming a lawyer. He doesn't know what I want, and he doesn't care." Ben complained, "I can just remember how on my fourteenth birthday he gave me some stupid lecture about goin' to Yale just like he did. Stupid."

"Why don't you just tell him that you don't wanna go through law school? Why don't you tell him about how you really just wanna go to art school?"

They were stupid questions. I knew the answers. His dad would never allow it.

"What my dad wants, my dad gets."

It was a simple conclusion of Mr. Rickard's life. If he wanted something, he would go out there and get it.

"Well, maybe that's something you could learn from him. If you want something, then you're gonna have to get it."

He rolled his eyes, "Pft, please. I couldn't do that even if I was dreaming."

I made my eyebrows jump in agreement.

"I'll just see you tomorrow at school. Sleep tight."


"Wake up, sweetie!" Mom's voice rang, "You're gonna be late for school!"

"Good," I retorted as I squeezed my pillow to fit over my ears to act like earmuffs.

Mom jerked the covers off of my bed, leaving me there to freeze.

"Ma..." I complained. She slammed the door shut. I moaned and went to the bathroom to take my shower.

The water was steaming hot. The air felt warm and humid. It just made me want to fall asleep even more. I leaned my head back into the water, feeling the water trickle down my back.

And then...

Bang! Bang!

"Tric! Hurry it up in there! I need to pee!" I could hear my little brother, Tim screaming, "Five more minutes and I'm telling Mom!"