Ch 38: Need

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 Need: Airi

      I wiped away tears at once and returned to the bathroom door where, hopefully, I would find Liam looking more decent than before. How the hell am I going to deal with something like this, I questioned myself as my heart pounded with anxiety, stress, and any other feelings that fell under "unpleasantness." Well aware of the fragility concerning this issue, and Liam's impenetrable bubble of personal thoughts, it only made sense that I remain "oblivious" to him. So, in seconds, when Liam exited the door and made the slightest bit of eye contact with me, I bit my lip hard, controlling the water from my eyes. It saved me when Liam collapsed to the ground, his arm wrapped around his abdomen and his face in pain.

         "Honey, what's wrong? Do you need something to drink?" I panicked as I ran to him, my arms around his arms in attempts to lift him up. In an instant, he maneuvered himself up and headed to the sink in in the bathroom, his hand to his mouth.

           And then he threw up.

          If this was Owen, I would have most likely turned away with disgust and run out of the house. But right now, I was scared. The little amount of soup he had consumed in the last hour had made a second appearance into the marble bowl and down the drain.

         "Get out of here! I'm fine! I don't need you," Liam yelled while he continued to face the sink. I ignored his feeble endeavors to get rid of me and stayed standing behind him. I let my hand crawl underneath the Nike shirt he wore and rubbed his back, keeping in mind that the cool skin would be soothing against his fever-entranced body. Against my fingers, I felt the tightening of muscles each time Liam gagged. After the third and final release of fluids, Liam took a moment to rest his head on the faucet. His breathing slowed and the shaking gradually came to an end.

            Like nothing had happened, he brushed his teeth, gurgled a bit of mouthwash, and pushed past me to throw himself back in bed. Surprise after surprise, the day had come close to the end. Darkness had driven over the once bright sky and trying to get Liam out of bed was a useless task since night was so near. With my mind keen on staying with Liam, I pulled a clean, untouched t-shirt from his closet and pulled it over my bra and underwear. Joining him in bed, I kept distance from Liam, knowing his want for space.

            Morning arrived sooner than I expected, considering shut eye for me only lasted for about an hour and it being earlier in the morning. My body rose from the sheets without my demand due to daily routine. I turned my head to see Liam still on his side, cocooned in a mix of blankets and his hoodie. But I knew he wasn't asleep. His shoulder blades poked out with tension, leaving sharp creases in the pale green fabric of his sweatshirt. He must have been up all night, I thought, quickly transitioning to breakfast ideas in order to get some food in him.

              Suddenly, Liam got up.

           "Look. I don't need you. I can take care of myself. We're not together anymore so you shouldn't even be here."

              In all honesty, I was mildly predicting a reaction like this from him.

            "Liam. You have this ridiculous idea that I'm actually going to be offended by your opinions. To your probable dismay, there's no way I’m leaving. Liam..." I let out a deep breath and walked toward him. "You helped me get through my mo—." I promptly stopped, realizing the mistake I had just made. Although I kept my eyes on the ground, words began to flow again.

           "I don't care if you don't need me right now but I have to be here. I have to be around you, maybe not as your girlfriend but...." I made great efforts to stabilize my breathing but at the last minute, instinct had me at my toes allowing me to wrap my arms around his sender neck. My chin resting on Liam's shoulder, I began again. This time, with tears pricking the corner of my eyes.

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