Freedom Is Just Another Word For Nothing Left To Lose

-Prologue-

Life.

What is it exactly?

A series of unfortunate events?

Moments leading up to one, final, crucial moment?

They say you have to actually live in order to know what life is about. But what if I didn’t want to? What if I simply just didn’t want to figure out the riddle that was known as life? Because frankly, after surveying what life had thrown at me lately, I really didn’t want to find the solution.

But then again, maybe I had found it. Maybe that was why I was standing where I was now, looking down onto the field of grass and little dots of flowers which were creating a colorful pattern against the green mat. Maybe the solution to life was why I was standing here, on the edge of a cliff, looking down at what I would like to think was high enough up for me to get the feel of flying before I died.

I like to think that life was the reason I was standing on this cliff’s edge, to why I was standing on the edge of glory.

Because, it was indeed glory.

The freedom which engulfed me made my body tingle.

A drop of happiness filled me, just as quickly as it came, it disappeared. Happiness was a rare visitor these days, it usually stayed for a very short time and its visits were long and far between.

Happiness isn’t a part of my life, not anymore. Darkness has replaced the beautiful light which once filled every inch of my soul.

The darkness clings to me, swallows me, expands until I obey. Sunlight is not to be found near the darkness, it fears it, avoids it at all costs, leaving me alone to cope. It’s a battle I will always lose, the darkness always wins.

The wind wrapped around me furiously, almost willing me to back down, but being unsuccessful in its quest.

I leaned forward slightly, once again looking over the steep edge, one misstep and I would go tumbling down.

Freedom.

Freedom to do what I wanted.

Those were the things awaiting me. Because this choice was entirely up to me, my fate was in my hands, and I could to exactly what I wanted with it.

Right now freedom sounded pretty alluring. But you know what they say about freedom, it’s just another word for nothing left to lose.

This was my moment. The final, crucial one. And freedom was what I gambled here, such a silly thing in this silly world of silly people.

Life.

I don’t know what its secrets are, only that they are dark, very dark. And my unfortunate life, has led up to this very moment.

Should freedom be the winner? Should happiness? Should darkness be content with yet another victory?

But who wins in these situations? Who loses?

Who gets to walk away with the glory of victory?

Certainly not freedom. Freedom doesn’t rejoice over the act of one victory.

Freedom is pure, unlike me.