*hey everyone. i'm in australia at the moment so sorry I haven't been able to check up on you guys lately. I'll be home Monday so expect an upload from Bloodlust, TWL, and even some more poetry. Here is something I started writing before I left and what I will continue to be working on for awhile. This is my "Silent Pleas" to my haters, lovers, and those who caged me in. These are the things I'll never say. Aloud, that is.
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"Silence can be deadly. It wasn't until I heard it-felt it, breathed it, lived it-that I knew just how dangerous a world without sound could be."
July 11, 2011
3:03 pm Monday-3:12 pm Monday
Readers-No one and everyone in particular
Dear Silent Killer,
Once upon a time, there was a girl. She had long brown hair, a gap between her two front teeth, and a dream of being a fashion designer. A year before, she moved 3,000 miles from her home, despite her pleas to stay in the place where she was born.
Her best friend loved her unconditionally, but by the time they saw each other again face-to-face, she already had a new best friend. That girl had no idea what she would become over the next few years and at that point, she could care less. All that mattered was now-the time when she was happy...smart, charming, and popular. Little did she know that, soon enough, it would all change.
That girl...was me. This is my story.
Fellow readers, if you know me well or did in the past, you will most likely be able to fill in the blank spots for the names of my "Silent Killers." For those who don't know, a silent killer is a person that I've trusted, loved, or felt strongly for or about, and didn't realize they were killing me inside for whatever reason. For all those wannabees and bitches who've hurt me, the boys and young men I've been pulled towards. The people I've loved and have turned that love to hatred.
You have all been, at one point or another. Perhaps twice. Three times? I've lost track.
Let's get sonmething straight out of the way...clear, so that the possibility of confusion never crosses your mind. This is not a diary. These are not diary entries of my hidden secrets. I am sorry to disappoint you, if that is what you had been hoping to find here.
These are rough drafts-torn straight from my flesh-of how I think. How I live my life. How it has changed. How I have changed.
And how every one of you has played a role in every single change.
Thanks to you, I have stories to tell. Voices to claim, to be heard through the minds of each reader. Thanks to you, I have the need to speak out. To let my voice be heard.
I am not going to sugarcoat the truth for you in here. To be perfectly honest, you will most likely find that something or another triggers a not-so-kind response from within.
At this point, I am beyond caring what people think of me.
Welcome to the wolve's den.