Sometimes love hurts too much to want. Too much pain, not enough pleasure.

Love can hurt you beyond repair, no matter how much someone tries the person can never be whole again.

Kaliska is the one person who could ever hurt me enough to make me want to die. I remember every detail clearly. I can call up every ounce of pain.

I was in his arms, sleeping silently. He got up. He left me there, while he went out. Driving his car out in the rain, wanting to surprise me on my birthday. He went out, to start my special day.

I remember waking up to my phone ringing. Ringing again and again with That's The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be. It was sad as can be, and for some reason it made me sadder that day. Why, I didn't know yet.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Daciana Manti?"

"Yes, who is this?" I asked hesitantly.

"Officer Nolan. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but a young man was in a accident. Your number was one of the last few called." I stifled a sob. "His ID said Kaliska Alexander. He's been seriously injured. A car can be there shortly if you would like us to pick you up."

"Y-ya. P-p-pick me up, p-please." I stammered.

"Alright, an officer will be there shortly for you." And he hung up. I sobbed as I tried to stand up. I made it and brushed my teeth, my hair, and tried so so hard to get clothes on. Kal's sweatpants sagged on my small frame, and I pulled one of his T-shirt's back with a hair tie. I heard a knock on the door, and I stumbled down the stairs towards the door. I opened the door and slipped flip flops off.

"Daciana?" A young man in his mid-20's asked me. I nodded with tears falling, harder and harder. I stumbled forward, and his arms enveloped me. He smelled of aftershave and the outdoors. Not Kal's familiar scent of fresh clover, making me sob harder. The man held me, and steered me out of the house.

"Wait! I didn't lock it!" I shouted as I scrambled towards the stoop. I locked the door, thinking about how I was such an idiot to worry about locking a door when the greatest thing to ever happen to me, might be dying. I ran back and threw myself into the cop car that was waiting for me.

"I'm Officer Gardever. I've been updated about Mr. Alexander. Last time I checked, he was unconscious and was being rushed into surgery." I stifled m sob with my hands over my mouth. "I'm sorry. I don't want to give you false hope, but the doctors said he should make a full recovery."

We rode the rest of the way in silence.