Hey guys i must be in a posting frenzy tonight! anywhooo this a random collection of gender jokes i found whilst surfing the net. enjoy
warning: this is not for the easily offended or faint hearted.
Mr Right Application
Dear ________,
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right.
As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available.
So that you may find better success in
your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition.
Check those that apply..
___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.
___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!
___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.
___Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO much time on your hands!
___Your legs are skinnier than mine.
___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.
___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you.
You still live with your parents.
___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.
___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.
___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long-term partner
___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.
Sincerely,
________
He Said She Said
He said.. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said..You wear briefs, don't you
He said.. Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
She said.. Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.
She said.. What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said.. It's not my fault.. I ran out of money.
He said.. Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She said.. Well, you succeeded.
He said.. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you
She said.. Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
He said.. Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
She said.. Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
He said.. Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
