Become a fan
63. Cook delicious-looking meals. When he won't eat them, get offended. Tell him "I put my sweat and blood into that meal!" ha that sounds like something i would do! :)
Team Jacob all the way!! lol
 |
|
|
|
 |
[PG] Parental Guidance Suggested
101 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen
1. Call him Eddy, all the time
2. Give yourself a paper cut and make a point of showing him the blood, then put it in your mouth. Say, "Mmmm, Delicious! Want some?"
3. Say "you don't look that scary"
4. Use vampire expression like "holy Dracula" and "good bye sweet Transylvania"
5. Visualize yourself naked
6. Ask him to help you do something impossible (save the world, build an atomic clock, help you with your calculus ect). When he has trouble say "never mind, I'm sure Jacob could help me"
7. Drive REALLY slow
8. Volunteer him for a blood drive
9. Hold up a bottle of ketchup and say, "look!! BLOOOOOD OOOOOOOO"
10. Hang posters that say "I support Jacob Black" and "Jacob Black for President" All over his room
11. Throw him to the crazy fan girl hordes.
12. Tie Bella to some railroad tracks. When he gets mad, say, "Wow, a little overprotective, aren't we? I'm sure Jacob wouldn't have a problem with this."
13. Say, "Hey, aren't you that guy from Harry Potter?"
14. Tell him that Emmet is a cooler vampire than him.
15. Tell him that Jane has the coolest vampire power. Mention that it's significantly better than mind reading.
16. Continually suggest that he'd be better off eating Bella, rather than dating her.
17. Mention that he isn't a real vampire.
18. When flying on an airplane, say, "If this plane crashes on an island, we eat Bella first."
19. Suggest that his life is too stressful. Recommend aromatherapy.
20. When he announces his wedding, say "Why? Is Bella pregnant?"
21. Leave bloody dead animals around him. Insist that you're helping with the aromatherapy.
22. Invite Jacob's whole family to the wedding. When he gets mad, say, "I was just trying to help."
23. Invite the Volturi to the wedding.
24. Make a list of the ways that werewolves are cooler than vampires. Show it to him. Act offended when he gets mad.
25. Tell him that he's too closed-minded: he needs to welcome people of all cultures into his life.
26. Talk in Ebonics.
27. Tell him to "bear in mind other people's thoughts."
28. Kidnap Bella. When he asks where she is, say, "Don't worry about it."
29. When he threatens to kill you, say, "Now, now, aren't we being a little hasty?"
30. When he really is going to kill you, blame Alice. Say she took her to LA to go shopping.
31. Poke him.
32. When he talks about how painful his transformation was, say, "Oh, yeah, your life is soooo hard."
33. When he talks about how much he loves Bella, say, "Aren't you a little young to know what love is? Maybe you should wait till you're a few years older."
34. Make Bella wear a team Jacob shirt.
35. Suggest that he and Bella take some time off to "see other people." Recommend Jessica Stanley for him.
36. Run over his Volvo with Bella's truck.
37. While he's listening, tell Bella she deserves something better.
38. Invite him to go to the beach with you.
39. Read the back of the Twilight books to him. Bonus points for using a dramatic announcer voice.
40. Blame him for all of Bella's past injuries.
41. Constantly hint at how good Bella must smell.
42. Visualize his life in 20 years. SUV, suburban house, 12 kids.
43. Laugh when Bella trips. Loudly.
44. Shine a bright light in his face. Say, "Darnit, you didn't go all sparkly."
45. Buy a copy of Breaking Dawn on the black market. Tell him he dies at the end.
46. Ask him where he buys his body glitter.
47. Suggest self-tanner.
48. When Bella says how much she loves him, think then why was she making out with Jacob down at La Push yesterday?
49. When he gets mad, innocently say, "I didn't say anything."
50. Point out the circles under his eyes. Tell him to get more sleep.
51. Offer to lend him your concealer.
52. Withdraw the offer. Tell him that he's too pale for this shade.
53. Suggest that a week in the tropics would do him good.
54. Tell him that we're getting tired of his "scary" act.
55. Redecorate his room in a Care-bear theme.
56. Tell him that it will help him be happy.
57. Buy him a wolf plushie.
58. Turn his piano into a craps table.
59. Suggest that he try harder to make new friends.
60. Tell him that he should hang out with Mike Newton more often.
61. Put pretty bows in his hair while he's distracted.
62. Tell him that pretending to sleep would make him sympathize with the humans more.
63. Cook delicious-looking meals. When he won't eat them, get offended. Tell him "I put my sweat and blood into that meal!"
1. Call him Eddy, all the time
2. Give yourself a paper cut and make a point of showing him the blood, then put it in your mouth. Say, "Mmmm, Delicious! Want some?"
3. Say "you don't look that scary"
4. Use vampire expression like "holy Dracula" and "good bye sweet Transylvania"
5. Visualize yourself naked
6. Ask him to help you do something impossible (save the world, build an atomic clock, help you with your calculus ect). When he has trouble say "never mind, I'm sure Jacob could help me"
7. Drive REALLY slow
8. Volunteer him for a blood drive
9. Hold up a bottle of ketchup and say, "look!! BLOOOOOD OOOOOOOO"
10. Hang posters that say "I support Jacob Black" and "Jacob Black for President" All over his room
11. Throw him to the crazy fan girl hordes.
12. Tie Bella to some railroad tracks. When he gets mad, say, "Wow, a little overprotective, aren't we? I'm sure Jacob wouldn't have a problem with this."
13. Say, "Hey, aren't you that guy from Harry Potter?"
14. Tell him that Emmet is a cooler vampire than him.
15. Tell him that Jane has the coolest vampire power. Mention that it's significantly better than mind reading.
16. Continually suggest that he'd be better off eating Bella, rather than dating her.
17. Mention that he isn't a real vampire.
18. When flying on an airplane, say, "If this plane crashes on an island, we eat Bella first."
19. Suggest that his life is too stressful. Recommend aromatherapy.
20. When he announces his wedding, say "Why? Is Bella pregnant?"
21. Leave bloody dead animals around him. Insist that you're helping with the aromatherapy.
22. Invite Jacob's whole family to the wedding. When he gets mad, say, "I was just trying to help."
23. Invite the Volturi to the wedding.
24. Make a list of the ways that werewolves are cooler than vampires. Show it to him. Act offended when he gets mad.
25. Tell him that he's too closed-minded: he needs to welcome people of all cultures into his life.
26. Talk in Ebonics.
27. Tell him to "bear in mind other people's thoughts."
28. Kidnap Bella. When he asks where she is, say, "Don't worry about it."
29. When he threatens to kill you, say, "Now, now, aren't we being a little hasty?"
30. When he really is going to kill you, blame Alice. Say she took her to LA to go shopping.
31. Poke him.
32. When he talks about how painful his transformation was, say, "Oh, yeah, your life is soooo hard."
33. When he talks about how much he loves Bella, say, "Aren't you a little young to know what love is? Maybe you should wait till you're a few years older."
34. Make Bella wear a team Jacob shirt.
35. Suggest that he and Bella take some time off to "see other people." Recommend Jessica Stanley for him.
36. Run over his Volvo with Bella's truck.
37. While he's listening, tell Bella she deserves something better.
38. Invite him to go to the beach with you.
39. Read the back of the Twilight books to him. Bonus points for using a dramatic announcer voice.
40. Blame him for all of Bella's past injuries.
41. Constantly hint at how good Bella must smell.
42. Visualize his life in 20 years. SUV, suburban house, 12 kids.
43. Laugh when Bella trips. Loudly.
44. Shine a bright light in his face. Say, "Darnit, you didn't go all sparkly."
45. Buy a copy of Breaking Dawn on the black market. Tell him he dies at the end.
46. Ask him where he buys his body glitter.
47. Suggest self-tanner.
48. When Bella says how much she loves him, think then why was she making out with Jacob down at La Push yesterday?
49. When he gets mad, innocently say, "I didn't say anything."
50. Point out the circles under his eyes. Tell him to get more sleep.
51. Offer to lend him your concealer.
52. Withdraw the offer. Tell him that he's too pale for this shade.
53. Suggest that a week in the tropics would do him good.
54. Tell him that we're getting tired of his "scary" act.
55. Redecorate his room in a Care-bear theme.
56. Tell him that it will help him be happy.
57. Buy him a wolf plushie.
58. Turn his piano into a craps table.
59. Suggest that he try harder to make new friends.
60. Tell him that he should hang out with Mike Newton more often.
61. Put pretty bows in his hair while he's distracted.
62. Tell him that pretending to sleep would make him sympathize with the humans more.
63. Cook delicious-looking meals. When he won't eat them, get offended. Tell him "I put my sweat and blood into that meal!"
[PG] Parental Guidance Suggested
Comments & Reviews ^topIs it ok if I use some of these in my book Hannah and Emmet's list of things they are nor allowed to do! 7? It would mean a lot to me.  vliao224 Jan 31, 2010 09:20 reply spam Ha ha i actually thought that about the souls !! Take him to a rave and grind against him while some random guys doing it to bella. make sure the place is packed  esmee24 Jan 02, 2010 10:39 reply spam i have one but it probably aint funny:
Go to shops, come home wearing body glitter and run around with fangs, shouting "Ooo, whos silver volvo is that? Do they know its on fire?"  Sheridan97 Dec 27, 2009 10:16 reply spam hahaha this is so fun i totally like 4,18,21,44,66,68,69,84,85,88,95,100 those are totally the best haha tin foil good one!!!!(give u air high five) haha that still cracks me up  victouriousvamp... Oct 21, 2009 22:21 reply spam i really liked number 73 it goes something like wonder what the souls are going to do to the cullens when they invade hahaha its funny cuz i showed my friends this and they were all like what the hell does it mean about souls and i'm like you guys should really expand pass twilight and go to the host its much better and they were all like what the hell is the host and one of them said i still dont noe how that has anything to do with souls and i just sighed and then laughed hahahahaha  NEXtEL Sep 16, 2009 18:45 reply spam show all comments (20) |
|
© WP Technology Inc. 2010
User-posted content is subject to its own terms.
User-posted content is subject to its own terms.
