My Cancer Story

Explanations, Expectations and Dedications

My Cancer Story

Explanations, Expectations and Dedications

This is going to be a bit sad and depressive. At some points funny, but most of the time sad. But I wanted to share my experience with others.  

First of all with other boys or girls who suffered or still suffer with cancer. 

Second of all with everyone else, because I want to tell everyone what it feels like.  

Especially what it felt/feels like to me.

This is a really private and personal thing for me to do. But I'm doing it anyway.  

Why? There are two reasons. 

First: I feel like no one who never had cancer understands that it's not over when you've beaten it. Physically and mentally. And I want to try to explain, so that everyone around knows how I felt. And I think I'm not alone with that. 

Second: There once was this guy. His name was Michi and he was my tutor. He was 23 (I hope that's right) years old and I liked him really really much. He's not my tutor anymore and I've never seen him again since he stopped tutoring, but I could talk with him about everything. He was the perfect person to talk to. He understood me, could feel with me and encouraged me to things, I usually wouldn't do. Good things of course. So when I told him that one Wednesday that I was diagnosed with cancer, he went with me through everything. He was like a friend to me. Or a big brother. After I've beaten the cancer and I came back to one of his lessons, he said: 

"Are you good at writing?" - "I don't know. I once tried, but it wasn't that good." - "Write a book about it." 

I remember his words as if he said them yesterday. Like everything I've experienced. It's all stored in my head. And now after nearly three years, I finally decided to do it. To write about it.

A really important thing that I want to make clear from the start is that I was diagnosed very early and I've beaten it very fast. I didn't have to do a chemo, but other therapies. This is MY cancer experience. And I know that I was pretty lucky. It could have been worse. But it was still hard and it was by far the most horrible time of my life. I just hope that you understand that.

This is not a fictional story! It really happened to me. That is why I want to ask you to please not write mean comments or insult me or write things like 'oh, come on it could have been worse!'. I know. But when something like this happens to you, you don't care about others. You don't care what could have been worse. All you care about is that you are in a horrible situation and that you never thought that something like this could ever happen to you.

This is my story. 

I dedicate it to Michi and everyone who helped me go through it.  

I just hope it helps other cancer patients to beat it and survive.  

And I hope, that people who look at cancer patients know what they've been through and how they feel. 

Because it's not over. You'll never forget what happened. You'll never forget a single detail. And that is what' so hard about it. That it's still present.