My eyes opened to a dark room. It was still night. I looked at the clock. 2:49. I've only been asleep for a few hours. I bet your wondering what woke me up. I didn't have a bad dream. No one had woke me. Then I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Ah. That was it. That is what woke me up. I rolled over. Maybe if I just ignored it... The pain only increased. Frustrated. I got up and went to the window. Looking out the window I imagined a time when my heart wasn't broken.
I closed my eyes to remember. This time I was looking out a different window at a little girl. She was in the back yard of this one story house looking at a makeshift garden. It was just a little patch of ground surrounded by rocks to form the boundary. Growing in the garden was a flower. This little girl was looking at this flower that had grown two feet. Half her size. She had a big smile on her face.
Then I remembered. That little girl was me. I was proud of this flower. My teacher have gave me a sunflower seed and I put it in the cup. Then it out grew the cup and here it was. Two feet tall and beautiful. Growing up just like me. She was in her play clothes and I watched as she dug her fingers in the dirt around it. She picked up the dirt and watched as it as fell back to the ground. Then her eyes went to the flower again. A sparkle shined in her eye. She touched one of the little peddles. Then a butterfly flew by. Giggling, she chased the butterfly to the spot it landed. In a pouncing position, she got ready to entrap this beautiful blue and white butterfly. She made her move, but it got away. She chased to it its next spot.
Pleading with it with a smile on her face, she said, "I'm not going to hurt you. Promise. Just stay still." She went to pounce again. Again the butterfly escaped her little hands. Watching as it fluttered away it went to the edge of the yard.
It flew higher and higher. So high that she couldn't reach anymore. She watched as it flew towards the sky. A big smile crossed her face as she looked around at all the clouds. They were so big. The sun shined through the clouds making her cover her eyes. Then a flash of light shined through my eyes too. When I opened them all I saw were the light of the cars going down the road.
Remembering that time made me smile. Then I remembered that, that happiness was short lived. A few months later. As soon as my fourth grade school year was over, my mom told us that we were moving back to where our family mostly lived.
I touched the window pane and closed my eyes once more. I remembered back to my last time I ever got to see that flower. I looked at a little girl a little bit older then the last time she looked at the flower. It was bigger now too. She looked at it and said goodbye. Wishing it luck, she hoped that it looked so big. Then she said, "I'll come back someday and see you soon."
She looked back at me as she left that house. I knew she couldn't see me though.After all this was just a memory. She was said goodbye to the house. They drove down the street to a house, where a little boy lived. The little girl in the car loved this little boy so much. They went to say goodbye to him but he was gone. She was so upset. She didn't want to leave until she got to say goodbye. Her mom reassured her that they could come back and visit. She reminded her daughter that we had his address and that she could write him.
I opened my eyes agian. I wrote him two or three letters. Then we stopped talking to eachother. We never did go back to visit. Later I found out that my mother never intended on going back.
Your probably asking yourself why didn't you just move on. You had a new life ahead of you. Your right I did. New people, new school, new teachers, new house, and neighbors. I had it all right? My life had changed and I chose to reject my past. I decided to stop talking to them so I could embrace my new life head on.
A tear fell down my cheek as I knew what had started the crack in my heart.
So what do you do when your new life rejects you?