Here's how it all works out: we're actually an agency, an agency of princes known as HEA (Happily Ever After). Princes come from all over the world to sign up at this agency. Here's the deal we offer: work for the agency, and if you get sent on a mission to rescue a damsel, she's yours. What's amazing though, is that we don't get to pick the damsel! Nope, whether she's half fish, half real, or half ugly, she's yours forever and ever. You can see now how the name of the agency fits to our goals.
I'm Charming (yes, that is my name) the head of HEA. The reason why I became leader was because...I guess charming. Anyways, before I even met Cinderella, I recruited men to save girls from curses, stepmothers, poisonous apples, everything you can imagine (even cat fights!). The first man I recruited is a great friend of mine. The poor man was so discredited, his name wasn't even announced. I present to you, my fellow readers and fairytale dreamers, Prince Derek.
Hello everyone, I'm Prince Derek, the guy who rescued Snow White. Yes, shocking isn't it? I'm not as handsome as I used to be. Let's just say once you bit a poisoned apple, you're hooked from that day on. So check this out: Charming and I are buddies, and I needed a job. The kingdom was starving, and I needed to get them some money, so they could get food. My adviser said, “Why don’t we take some money out of the royal treasury?”
I laughed, and said, “You’re fired.”
So, I was in need of a job. I’ll never forget the conversation we had…
“Derek, you’re going to get a headache.”
“I already have one.”
“Well, drink anymore of those ‘Handsome in 2 minutes!’ potions, and you’re going to get a migraine.”
“Relax man, only a poisoned apple will reverse the magic.” Just my luck…anyways, back to the convo.
“So, you need a job?”
I finished drinking my third dose of ‘Handsome in 2 minutes!’
“Yeah man, I do. The people are so…”
“Nah man, ugly. They’re like, walking skeletons with flesh.”
“Derek, stay with that attitude, and the girl you rescue will deserve credit instead of you.”
“Ok, ok I’m sorry. So, you’ll help me?”
“Not until you go to Prince rehab.”
“Yes I know, rehab is charming.” Charming started laughing.
“Ok, ok fine, I’ll give them money from the treasury.”
“And be nice.”
“Oh come on-fine, I’ll go to rehab.”
“Awesome! Now, once you have all that done, I’ll sign you up with a beautiful damsel, or should I say your future queen,” said Charming, nudging my arm.
“Dude, I needed the job to feed the people, not settle down!”
“But that’s what HEA is all about. You don’t get paid; you save the girl, and keep her.”
“Oh. Yeah that makes sense…” Say what now?!
“Ok so we’re on the same page: you’ll feed the people, go to rehab, and save the damsel. My work here is done.” Then Charming left me, confused as ever.
Despite my confusion, I did as Charming told me. I used money from my treasury to feed my people, and I ended becoming the richest prince in the country (well, next to Charming of course). I also went to rehab, and learned that looks weren’t everything. There was more to people than looks, appearances…looks, the liking. You had to look inside the heart and soul (how, I had no idea, but that was what my councilor told me. Maybe with the heart it could work, but with the soul? You needed a warlock to look at someone’s soul and those people were expensive. We’re talking about 4 copper coins an hour!). So, I became nicer to my people, and in return, they started liking me. I know shocking right?! So the day came when I decided to get married (my dad passed away and my mom wouldn’t quit nagging about grandchildren and heirs). So, I sent Charming a horse message, saying that I was ready to rescue a princess. A reply came 3 days later, meaning his message was urgent. I opened the letter he sent me. It read: