The bride walks slowly at the aisle, careful, unhurriedly. it is as if she doesn't want to reach the altar. yet. because at the end stands his husband to be, the guy she had been together with for 6 years. she tried to smile thru misty eyes, and try hard not to let her tears fall down her cheeks for it will ruin her make up. but it did fall anyway. cameras flash,they will talk about how "beautiful the bride was!", "how touched and happy she was! she even cried in her wedding!" what they will not know, probably never,is that she is dying inside.
Not that she doesn't love his groom.she does. it's just that at thealtar, next to her groom, stand her bestfriend. He is smilling widely, though his eyes look strained. tired? probably. he helped her in all aspects of her wedding preparations. she tried to smile back, and wipe her tears.
The ceremony drag, and the bride did her job perfectly. she smiled, she looks lovingly at her groom, but her neck must have been strained and aching for she is avoiding to look at her bestfriend. she now regret that she even asked him to be her groom's best man.
But of course, that can't be helped. he had been there for her since time immemorial. they shared many things, went through a lot of things together. she practically worships the land he walks on. he had been her sunshine, who always lifts her up on her lowest moments. she wanted to share everything with him, the food she eats, the pictures she prints, the tickets to concerts she won, or even just to watch the latest movie releases with him. she wanted to give the whole world to him.
He's very special to her, and he knows it. she never fail to let him know. he will just smile but will not say anything.he will divert her attention and will talk about something else. she will feel hurt for the diversion, but will keep quiet.this went on for years. until the time the girl felt numb with the pain of being rejected, or of being taken for granted. or of being not appreciated. maybe all of the above.
She started to stay away; she avoided to be alone with him, talking to him or even avoided the places she knows that he frequently in. until she doesn't even feel any fondness for him anymore.
She started to hang out with other crowd, tried new things, went to different places. the ex-bestfriend probably just noticed she's not there anymore, texted him "miss na kita, musta na?". the girl could've cried but she couldn't. she could feel any sadness nor happiness. she's just in the limbo and couldn't get out. she turned her celphone off and changed numbers.
Another couple of years passed and she met a wonderful man. he might not be as handsome, intelligent and creative as her bestfriend but he loved her dearly. the guy proposed and after thinking over it for a fortnight she said yes.and the wedding date was set.
Excitedly she decided to choose the bridal entourage and out of nowhere, she blurted out her best friends name. her groom understood how much this occasion means to her so he wholeheartedly relented. but after that and her fiancee left, she was strucked with the question "why? why did i say that? how? how should i tell him?"
She looked for old friends that may still have contact with him. she asked for the # and she tried to call him. she dialled. and dialled. but everytime she hears the phone rings, she backs out. but she knows she's no coward so she tried to control her nervously and had managed to say a shaky "hello". she asked the guy to meet her in a fastfood over lunch, her treat she said. the guy said yes and promised to meet up with her.
The next afternoon, she waited for 2 hours before the guy arrived. nothings changed there. he used to make her wait for long hours like that. he apologized when he arrived and have a box of chocolates to appease her. she ordered and over the main course he rarely talk. neither she. the girl clears her throat over dessert and tried to smile. " i am going to get married next month, will you my bestman?"
"huh? why me?"
"i dunno."
He just stared at her for the longest time, then sighed. " ok."
"why are you loking like that? aren't you happy for me?"
"why did we ended up like this?"
"like what?"
"like this! as if we are strangers?! what did i do? why did you stay away?"
"it's not something that you did.it's something that you didn't do. i got tired".
"but why are you asking me to be the bestman?"
"because i still want you to be a part of this."
"why are you hurting me?"
"what do you mean? i was the one who was hurt. you never appreciated me. "
" i..."
"don't worry, it's all in the past . i have forgiven you. that's why i am here."
"but i can't do this, i.."
"what?"
" i love you."
"really? you have a funny way showing it. ha-ha."
"don't laugh at me! i am serious! i loved you from the beginning but i am afraid that it will ruin our friendship. i tried to stay away too. i don't want to hurt you. but when you left, i died! did you know that? you brought my heart with you! that's why i didn't try to look for you. because i know this was your decision.and now you come back. to what? open my wound and lick it with salt? to rub it in my face that you are happy and i'm miserable?"
The guy was crying, and the girl was silent. dumbstrucked probably. after a long silence, the girl sighed.
" i had been waiting for a long time to hear those words, but i waited in vain. the past cannot be undone. i am sorry if i hurted you, but you didn't do your part. i loved you, too you know. and i have wanting to give the world to you and you knew that. if you don't want to be my best man, it's ok." then she started to leave, but the guy spoke. " did you love me?" the girl didn't turn around to face him. " i still do." " then i will be at your wedding. it's not fair that only i will suffer. every step you take towards the altar, the more you will realize that you should have been mine."
-argh.super sad story.
- written by me, July 30,2009
