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I was still young, and I knew it too. I just felt something. So different, adult-like. Like I would grow up soon, not physically, mentally. It's not that I wasn't already mature, for a 11-year old I suppose I was as mature as it got. In public could be mistaken for an angel. I could fake that I was a good girl, deep down I knew I was different, I didn't think like an 11-year old did. I sat deathly still and thought strange thoughts, questioning society, love, hate, good, evil, religion, anything of an important matter. More than just the typical 11-year old, who would think of the new films coming out, gossip of who-likes-who, and crushes.
Don't get me wrong, love was a main thought of mine, determined to find the right one. I considered Brandon being the right one, Keelee and him had broken up, and it's not like we would go out right away or anything. But the thought of me getting closer to him put a smile on my face so I gave in to like -not love. You can't be that young and in love, you can't be in love after a short amount of time...it has to build and develop. And love just didn't feel right then.
Fall turned to Winter. The beautiful multicolored leaves that I adore so much became covered in snow. Freezing. Exciting. And in some cases, ever so slightly depressing. My home wasn't silent, like the beautiful image of winter I imagine. My visual image of winter has always been staring out the iced window silently smiling as snow lightly falls. Leaning up against the glass and staring out just enjoying the sigh- "Morgan..You, your brother, and sister are going to see your Dad today.."
"Are you serious?" I asked, shocked.
"You guys can, but you know I can't go in, I'll just drop you, your brother, and sister off at your Grandma and Grandpa's, He'll be inside, you can probably open your presents from them there too..can you carry your sister in?" My Mum asked.
"Okay, and yeah I guess I could.." My voice trailed off as the previous events played back in my head. Near the end of December there was an..accident I suppose you could say. I blaimed myself for it completely. Had I not upset my father, my brother wouldn't have gotten hurt, the knife would had stayed in the kitchen, and my father would have stayed home that night, rather than jail.
It was Christmas eve, my Mum's side of the family was finishing up our 'Hitler's Cookie Baking Day' A day...well more like three.. dedicated to baking thousands of cookies, and I'm not joking when I say thousands, while being instructed by my cousin, Christine. My Mum came up with the name for the day because she had to grow up with Christine and thinks shes slightly on the bossy side when it comes to cookie's perfection.
We called my brother and sister upstairs and got into the car, quieter than normal. The ride to my Grandma's, where my dad was staying, took about five minutes. I slowly climbed out of the car and unbuckled my little sister from her car seat. My brother was halfway to the front door before I finished my "Ill see you later.." to my Mum.
"I'll be back at nine!" My Mum called to me, I nodded.
My brother opened the door, not bothering to knock, we've been here enough to know just to walk in, plus you could see plain as day people in the living room celebrating a small Christmas Eve party. As we walked in the roomed seemed to grow silent, I exchanged glances and fake smiles with a few eyes staring at me. As we kicked our boots off he came up to us, tears in his eyes, saying how much he missed us. The hug seemed to last a minute, I would have had tears in my eyes too if not for my weak ability to hold them back. It was almost like being reunited with a family member after months, yet, it hadn't been nearly that long.
We stayed with him for a bit of time at my Grandma's, we all were happy with him, for once in our lives we seemed like a normal family, I felt soo..at ease, almost. This must be how normal people feel when they are happy. We talked with a bit of the family, and opened up our presents, Mum picked us up around nine P.M.