Chapter 23 - UNCUT

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Chapter 23 - UNCUT

I looked at all the faces around me.  They all conveyed their own pain.  Torc stood tall and but his face was lined with regret and his eyes refused to leave me.  Thomas refused to meet my glance, his shoulders were slumped as he adverted his eyes.  His three friends just looked at me with awe and disbelief both at Torc in his uniform with the colours of the twelve and at me.  For someone of few words, Joe was the only one who seemed to grasp the ramifications of what was happening.  I could clearly see his disappointment.

I turned to Grace and glanced at the house behind her. 

“The barn then?” I suggested not expecting a reply from anyone.  There were too many to fit comfortably in the cottage so the barn was the only option.

I strode through the men who all looked stunned at me, as I headed for the barn.  I was the Queen and I was not going to show my emotions.  Inside I might be falling into pieces but on the outside I must retain my control and hold my head high. 

Yes, I was the Queen, hopes and dreams were for those who had their freedom. 

I waited as the people I had grown to love filed into the barn and either sat on bales or stood against walls watching me.  These were the closest I had to friends and now I was leaving.  I had no choice but to return to my own life.  The life I unsuccessfully fled from.  It was time to bury the dream and ensure that these people were safe.

I stood there and composed my speech in my head.  I owed them the truth.  Before I left them to their lives I owed them at least that.   

I looked up and meet Torc’s eyes.  His half smile was in direct contradiction to the sorrow that made his eyes glassy and his step heavy.  I watched him but I fought all the impulses and emotions that tore me apart.  I couldn’t think of him now.  I couldn’t make any decisions just yet.

“Maeb, let me tell them.  It was my fault that all this has come to pass.”  Torc was walking up to me his hand stretched out as if he was hoping to take mine.

“Yes, it is your fault,” Thomas muttered darkly as he stepped up and faced Torc with his back to me. “Do some good in your life Johnny and leave here.  Leave us in peace.”

“No Tommy, I made that mistake once.  I will never make it again.”  Torc’s eyes came up to mine brimming with hope, “I intend to fight for her with everything I have and prove myself to her once again.”

“No! You don’t belong with her.  Blossom was happy here and she will remain happy after you leave.  Tell whoever you answer to that she is dead.”

“You cannot send me away Tommy.  She is the only one who can banish me from her side and even then I will fight for her love again.”

“Tell him to go Blossum.  Tell him that you are happy here.  Send him away.” 

“Maeb, I won’t leave you again.  Please forgive me.”

I couldn’t look at the men who both searched my face for something that I was unprepared to give.  I couldn’t answer either man.  I couldn’t help the tears that rolled down my face.  I could hold myself tall and keep my dignity but I couldn’t raise my eyes to them and I couldn’t withhold these tears. 

“So you have forgotten the pain he caused you?” Thomas’ voice was bitter.  “Are you really willing to forgive him for what he did to you?  Well I don’t Blossum.  I don’t forgive him.”

“Tommy, this is not up to you.  You have no hold over the woman I love or our child that she carries,” Torc shot back at him.  “Now stand aside.  I will protect her from all and that includes you Tommy.”

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