Prologue

Oh God, oh God. Please say it's not true.
My hands fumbled as I removed the packaging and pulled it out. It looked like a wand, only magic could make this problem go away.
Three months. Three months, how could I not have noticed? I had other things on my mind I guess, exams and everything. How was I supposed to realize I skipped my periods for a reason? They only started last year anyway.
I took a deep breath and sat down on the toilet, awkwardly positioning myself to pee on this weird stick. Then all I could do was wait. And think.

The party was awesome. I barely knew anyone there, so I spent the entire night dancing with complete strangers and getting completely shit faced on anything I could get my hands on. For the last hour I danced with this guy, he was probably about eighteen and he kept sticking his tongue down my throat, not that I was complaining. He was hot. And I was drunk. Very drunk.
After the party I went back to his house, and what happened next is pretty much self explanatory. When I woke up the next morning I didn't have time to shower or anything. I got dressed as quickly as possible and ran back home. End of. It's not like it mattered or anything no one had to know. My mum still thought I was a virgin, which was laughable since I lost it when I was twelve and an insane psycho bitch, which I'm not anymore. Mum thought I had left that all behind me when we moved, which in fairness I almost completely had. Sorry mum.
I pulled the stick out and stared at it. Two minutes the side had said. Surely that had to be now. Then I saw it. That blue line that struck terror through my heart.
Oh my God. I'm pregnant.







1

A knock at the door interrupted my shock.
'Olly, are you okay in there? It's been like fifteen minutes.'
I took a deep breath and called back 'I'm fine mum. Seriously. I'm just coming out.' I put the stick back in the box and stuffed it up the back of my jumper, before opening the door and pushing past my mum.
'Why are you in such a hurry?' she called as I raced up the stairs.
'Homework' I yelled back. I have no idea why. It was the first thing that came into my head.
'You're running... to do homework?'
'Pretty much' I disappear into my room and close and lock the door behind me. Then I sat on the bed and stared at it in disbelief.
I was pregnant. Right now, something was growing inside me. I stared down at my stomach, was it bigger? Was that tiny bulge fat or a little "miracle"? And I had gone up a cup size in a week. But I was still growing it seemed normal. And morning sickness? I knew I was past it by now, and no woman in my family ever got it while pregnant so that was no surprise. But a baby. A real baby. Living off me.
My first thought was. I'm only just fifteen. How can I have a baby when I'm just a kid myself?
Then my second was. Abortion.
It seemed so simple. So easy. I have some kind of pill, or needle stuck in my arm and then it goes away. I never have to deal with it, ever again. Finito.
But I'm not stupid, and nothing is ever that simple.
I looked down at my stomach and rubbed the tiny bulge where I knew that tiny thing was nestled and killing it seemed so monstrous. I hadn't met it yet, I'd only just found out it exists but I suddenly realized that I loved it. It seemed insane, but I couldn't let it die. It was my responsibility to make sure it was safe, at least for the time it was inside me.
'Don't worry little baby' I murmured, closing my eyes 'I'll keep you safe.'
But even if the baby wasn't worried, I was terrified. My heart pounded and I felt butterflies let loose in my stomach because having a baby would ruin my life.


2

'Party this weekend at my house' said Tina 'you in?'
'Yes.' Of course everyone said yes. We were the party animals.
'Wait, no' I said quickly. They all stared at me.
'Why not?' she asked.
'I'm going to my Gran's' I said, Tina's party would involve booze and I was on a strictly no booze diet, or the baby was. 'Sorry.'
'Sorry' Tina raised a dark eyebrow 'cancel.'
'I can't cancel . She's my gran.'
'And I'm your friend' she replied, flicking her dark mane over her shoulder 'and besides, it's a once in a life time opportunity.'
'Once in a life time opportunity?' said Melissa 'don't make me laugh. You have one every month.' They all laughed and I joined in, watching Tina give her a dark look (which she was amazing at.)
'Yeah. But they're always kickass' she returned and Melissa shrugged. Luckily by that point everyone was talking amongst themselves about outfits and had forgotten why I wasn't coming. I breathed a sigh of relief as the bell went and we dispersed. No one came with me, I was the only one in our group in the top English set. Don't ever make the mistake of thinking I'm stupid. Just because I got pregnant when I was a teenager. I didn't listen to a word Ms Forrest said, my mind was filled. How could I tell mum? How could I tell my friends? I couldn't tell my friends. They would turn their backs on me in a second and bitch forever. I could only tell them when it was really, really necessary.