you convert life into binary
nought or one
black or white
and ignore the inbetweens
[so how can you see me?
i think i'm the only decimal number in your life
the only shade of grey]
when i asked you out that saturday
there was a
very long pause
before you would answer me
i thought i'd said the wrong thing, but then
you gave me
that slow smile
and hugged me so tight it hurt
[then you had to let go and turn away
you asked me politely to wait for you
to turn off your feelings
before you overheated]
they say you're weird, a geek, nerd, freak
sitting alone
just staring
at the computer all day
at first i was scared that they right:
bookshelves bare,
cupboards, too,
nothing to do in this place
[but now i've seen the wonders stored
in that million-gigabyte imagination of yours.
now i know better.]
you don't have windows, and your flat is
like a box,
a machine
that you seem to live inside
so i breathe on your black computer,
trace a heart
on the screen
in the tiny patch of mist
[you tease me
about leaving oily fingermarks
all over your precious contraption
are you teasing? are you serious?
well, you don't wipe my heart away]
you texted me this morning, and that
double row
of x's
was better than my alarm
[so xxx back to you
because x marks the spot
and you are the only place i want to be]
but 'x' is not a real kiss, you know,
and to you
it's just a
variable to compute
[i know i'm just a small part of your equation
but that's ok, because you like numbers better than people]
every time i pick up my phone now
i can feel
your heartbeat
i'm holding it in my hand
[i know i can end this relationship at any point
simply by turning that phone onto silent]
and it wouldn't be hard for you either
you are like
a hard drive:
your memory can be wiped
[just. like. that.]
but maybe that's why we stay so close
and why i
still love you
we have so much to lose, and
so little...
