CHAPTER TEN

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Drowning In Your Emotions

It was Friday morning when I woke up. I hadn’t slept very well at all. All through the night I kept replaying the boy stabbing himself over and over in my mind. It was on a constant loop in my head. I just wanted to forget the previous night all together but knew that I would never forget it. I just kept thinking about the boy and the look on his face. He was petrified, just six hours ago it had happened. Everyone had left awhile afterwards. Erin had offered to stay but I knew she was as upset as I was and wanted to be alone. Even though I didn’t know him I did cry. A few times actually.  But I knew that I definitely wasn’t going to school.

I went downstairs to clean up. There was blood on the porch and in the hallway. My stomach was hurting so much when it came to cleaning up the blood, I felt like I was going to be sick. I could smell it, the rusty iron odour. I had stop after awhile, I was too dizzy to carry on.

“Carmen?” I was so relieved when I heard Robert’s voice.

“Hi,” I had my head between my knees to try and stop the spinning.

“What’s wrong?”

“The blood, it smells.”

“You can smell blood?”

“Yes…”

“Carmen you’re not supposed to be able to smell blood.”

“Well I do, and it’s making me feel sick.” I did get a bit angry but I wasn’t lying.

“Okay, well go sit down and I’ll clean it up.”

I did exactly that. I lay on the sofa for a couple of minutes until I heard Robert. He made a noise like he was uncomfortable or something it was a kind of grunt. I got up and started shuffling over to him so I wouldn’t fall down.

“Robert, are you okay?”

“Yeah I am fine. Just stay there.” The way he said it was blunt.

“What? Why?” He had his head turned away from me, bending over on his knees and breathing very heavily. I didn’t know what to do so I just stood there. After a couple of seconds he turned back round to me looking relieved.

“Robert, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I told you, I’m fine.” He sounded rather harsh and it made me flinch for a moment. He had never spoken to me like that before.

“Carmen, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. In the future I won’t bother asking.”  I didn’t like him talking to me like that. I wouldn’t let him.

“Carmen,” Before he could finish I was walking into the kitchen with the bowl of dirty water.

“I really am sorry.”

“And I said it’s fine Robert.”

“If it was fine we wouldn’t be arguing.”

“We are not arguing. I was just worried about you. You sounded like you were in pain.”

“Well the truth is I don’t like blood either.”  As he spoke I saw his eyes turn to the black box on the counter.

“Is that what Gybon sent you?” He was definitely irritated.

“Yes, it’s nothing though.” I saw him raise an eyebrow when he opened it.

“Nothing?”

 “Yeah, I don’t know why he sent it. It’s just a stone on a chain.”

“It’s an expensive stone on a chain…” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to annoy him and if someone had brought Robert something expensive I’d be a bit irritated.

“Robert, I’m sorry for getting angry at you.”

“Carmen don’t. I’m the one who should be apologizing.” He wrapped his arms around me and held me. I did love Robert, more than anyone else in the world. But he couldn’t know that just yet.

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