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Broken (On Hold)


It was pitch black outside when I emerged from the comfort and warmth of my bed. The entire night had been and mixture of tossing and turning intermingled with minutes of restless sleep up until this very moment. One glance at the clock on the counter beside me, and I saw that the glowing numbers read five eleven. Surely no one else would be awake at such an hour. My steps were cautious and silent as I crossed the room and exited the bedroom door.

My senses were on full alert as I listened for the slightest hint of movement through out the house. As I headed down the hallway towards Gabriel’s office, I could hear the rustling and turning of someone in bed and the light chirp of hundreds of pesky crickets outside. The slight creak of the floorboard nearly made me jump out of my skin. Truly I was being ridiculous. If someone caught me up and about at this hour, no one would question what I was up to. They would just give a disapproving look and tell me that Gabriel wanted me to rest. He was really big on this resting thing.

The real reason I was so nervous was the fact that I knew what I was about to do would not be approved of. I knew Gabriel would be incredibly unhappy with me if he knew. Hence me roaming the hall attempting to find his office in pitch blackness. If I remembered correctly, it was the last door down the hall on the left. Hopefully he didn’t lock it.

Letting out a deep, unsettled sigh, I twisted the bronze door knob and pushed open the door of the office. A yelp of surprise was nearly emitted from my lips before I clamped my mouth shut muffling the noise. Strung out across a tiny two seater couch across from the desk was Gabriel fast asleep. Did this man never sleep in a bed? The irritation of the new complication to the situation almost had me stomping my feet like a little girl as threw a tantrum.

My eyes latched onto the object of my desire. The computer was still on casting a blue tinted light on the back of the room lighting up some of the dark green wall. Nervously I glanced over at my mate as I debated attempting to use the computer anyway. Considering I had spent the last four hours a bundle of nerves as I tossed and turned in bed, I decided I was no longer willing to wait. Attempting to be a silent as I possibly could I creeped across the room and took a seat at the large, black, leather office chair behind the nicely crafted wooden desk.

The soft, rhythmic breathing of my mate snoozing on the couch gave me confidence that maybe just maybe he wouldn’t wake up to me on his computer…in his private office…without permission. Shaking the thoughts out of my head I realized now was probably not the time to think about the consequences of what could happen. I needed to be quick. Ignoring what had already been pulled up on the screen I pressed the Safari internet browser button.

Just as I had done the day prior, I logged into my email hoping that there would be a message from my best friend Katie sitting in my inbox. Even though I had decided that it was probably physically impossible for me to leave this pack and my mate, I still had an overwhelming need to know what had become of the Silverhead Pack.

“You’ve got mail,” the inhuman computer voice told me sending me into a nervous breakdown as I jumped backwards in the seat praying to the wolf gods and whoever was listening that Gabriel would not wake up. He stirred slightly before burying his head back into one of the sofa cushions. A sigh of relief escaped my lips as I turned back to the computer. To my surprise I was met by seventeen new emails sitting in my inbox. Considering I had checked my email just yesterday, this number seemed rather large to me.

My eyes scanned each of the subjects and the people they were from. For a split second my heart stopped beating and a wave of nausea ran through my body at what I saw. One of the messages was from Katie. Sixteen of them were clearly from Lucas. Why was I so nervous? I wanted to say Lucas would never hurt me. In fact I was fairly certain that he himself would never be able to directly, physically hurt me. Obviously he was able to live with himself letting other people do it though.

Each one of the subject lines for Lucas’s emails were blank. Figuring it would be best to put those off until after I read what Katie had to say, I clicked on her email the first.




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