Life Ever After (Sequel to OPW Logan Lerman FanFiction)

Gregory the Squirrel Hunter

***Another chapter for a great group of readers. Has anyone else seen those pictures of Logan with that Amy girl? At first I was like DIGGAFLUURRRBB no! But then I was okay with it. What do you guys think?******

Can we just agree that paying five hundred dollars for a dog that weighs three pounds a little ridiculous? I have nothing against the little things, but the dog to money ratio doesn't seem right.

"Yeah, we imported him from Germany because his mother was born in this really serene place where the water was supposed to be super good for dogs." Fred rambled on. Wait, what?

"Wait, what?" I asked, eyeing the little rat he held in his arms skeptically. They imported it from a foreign country because of water?

"Gregory was raised in a little forested area in the back woods of Germany." Fred explained, and I scrunched my nose up to try and block out the picture I had in my head. Nope, can't hold it back. All I could think about was a wild pack of those little Teacup Yorkies running through the forest, wreaking havoc on the poor residents of the woods.

"I still can't believe you named him Gregory. Why not Sparkles or something?" I asked, cringing a little bit when Fred gasped loudly and made a big show of covering the pups ears. As if it had enough brain cells to be offended.

Sometimes Fred intentionally acts more gay than he really is, I swear.

"Gregory is a regal name. Elegant, if you will."

"If I will what?" I asked stupidly, before face-palming at my own stupidity.

"Are you feeling okay?" Fred asked me, looking not too sure "You're acting kind of strange."

"Yeah, I guess. I had an online date with Logan last night. He was just waking up and I was just going to sleep." I muttered, hating the depressed tone that quickly seeped into my voice.

Fred made a sound of pity in the back of his throat before continuing on through the park, boasting about with his little purse dog while I waited patiently for Sage to finish sniffing a leaf.

That's one thing I hate about walking her: she sniffs every fucking object we pass.

Yes, Sage, that is a rock. Congratulations for finally figuring it out after six minutes of nudging it with your nose!

If it wasn't obvious, I was in a bad mood. And Fred's little yapper dog wasn't helping. At all.

"Fred, I swear to god if you don't shut that thing up I'm going to use Dev's old bebe gun." I threatened, catching up to him and trying to ignore the looks of annoyance on the other park-goers faces as we passed.

Apparently Gregory doesn't like squirrels. Probably because they dwarf him, and his marble-sized balls don't give him enough courage to actually confront the creatures.

"You would never!" he sounded so offended, that I actually turned to raise an eyebrow at him. When he saw my 'No I'm not shitting you' eyebrow raise of doom, he quickly began to hush poor Gregory, who was sporting a studded purple collar and a cat leash.

All the other leashes were too heavy, and the little thing would collapse under the weight.

"Why don't you just fly out to France? And take me with you?" he tacked the last part on quickly, shooting me a flirtatious smile when I looked at him bluntly.

"Because that costs money, something I'm kind of low on at the moment." I pointed out. Even if I did have the money, I probably wouldn't fly out. I loved him and everything, but normal people don't fly out to France for a weekend trip with intentions of returning again later.

"He's an internationally known superstar hunk with a to-die-for body and a killer smile." Fred pointed out "Just ask him to fly you out. If you use the words 'booty' and 'call' he might even fly you out first class."

I didn't appreciate his suggestive eyebrow wiggling, or the hot blush that crawled up my body.

"Shut up, Freddy." I hissed, childishly stomping my foot and pouting.

He burst into loud laughter, and I marched along the little brick park path, dragging my incredibly curious Dalmatian with me and trying to ignore his stupidity. It took me a very long time to remember why I loved him and hung out with him so much.

"I'm being completely serious, Nikki. That boy is one fine piece of ass, and the fact that you haven't jumped his bones yet shows your incredible self control. However, now would be the time to run off to Paris to tap that."

If I thought I was blushing before, it was nothing compared to what was covering my face now. Was it possible to actually bleed through your skin and be that red?

At this point all I could think to do was start running away, pulling Sage along with me and ducking my head to keep from meeting the eyes of anyone around me. Fred then thought that it wouldn't be a perfect time to start chasing after me shouting inappropriate things like 'penis' and 'boobies'.

I ran all the way home, and slammed the door behind me as fast as I could. For a minute I just stood there, my chest heaving and the blood rushing around in my ears and cheeks, until I heard the sounds of someone walking up the front walk and jiggling the doorknob.

"Go away, you fucker! I don't wanna hear what you have to say about my sex life!" I shouted through the thick wood, leaning down to unhook the clip on Sages leash to allow her to run around the house freely.

"Nicole?" a familiar voice asked from outside, and I looked through the peep hole to see my dad, who was looking thoroughly confused. And concerned. Yep, that one was definitely there.

"Oh," I ripped the door open, only to see Freddy round the corner and begin speed walking towards my house "get in quickly, I have to hide from Fred."

I had decided at that point to completely ignore the fact that I had shouted something about sex to my father, and instead grabbed him by the collar of his nice shirt and hauled him into the house. He looked so damn confused that I took a moment to shoot a pitying smile his way, before locking the deadbolt and flouncing upstairs.

Collapsing on my bed had to be the best thing ever, until I heard dad yell at me from downstairs. My head had been buried in the pillows, so I raised my face a little to yell a loud, obnoxious 'WHAT?!' through the house.

"Why is there a grown man sitting on our yard yelling profanities at the house?"

"Just ignore him!" I shouted back.

"Wait, that's Fred!" Robin yelled from the next room over, and I actually got up off my bed to wander into her room curiously. She had half her body stuck out the window, a massive smile plastered all over her face.

"Robin," I said suddenly, a plan forming in my head "go grab a couple rolls of toilet paper."

She disappeared from the room, and I yelled out loudly to Freddy.

"Oi, you dumb-dumb! Go away!" I hollered. Instead (like I planned) he wandered over until he was right under Robins window, looking up and shouting about the male genitalia in a happy voice.

As quickly as I could I grabbed the water bottle from Rob's nightstand and unscrewed the cap, dumping the contents out the window as stealthily as I could. When Robin came back with the toilet paper, it was just in time to hear Freddy scream like a little girl.

While she darted to the window with a concerned look on her face, I began unwrapping the toilet paper with a sadistic smile, clutching the white paper in my fists and dumping that out the window, too.

"Nicole Bailey, you'd better hope that was water you just poured all over me!"

And then the toilet paper hit him, landing in one big heap in his shoulders. The water seeped through the thin fibers, sticking to his clothes and cheek while he screamed some more.

Where was a camera when you needed one?