Ugh. Look at me. My hair is a mess. But that’s why I have a brush. I can fix that. There, my hair is brushed. My teeth are crooked that’s why I don’t smile but I have braces. I just have to survive another year of being called Brace Face and Metal Megan. Then I can finally give my mother school photos where I don't look like christmas was canceled. The problem is my body.
I am so fat. Just look at my thighs. Cellulite all over them. I have chubby cheeks. My dad says that they are cute. Squirrel cheeks. Yeah, dad, it’s easy to say that when you aren’t in the 9th grade and you don’t have hormonally unstable teenage boys with overwhelming amounts of zits on their foreheads staring at you like a fat kid would stare at a plate of ribs through a window.
And you compare me with a squirrel. Great. Thanks. Fantastic. Compare me to something that has fur all over its body. I mean, you’re right in a sense. Look at my arms. They are so hairy. Look at my legs. And my mother really feels the need to ask why I wear pants to school every day? They are hairier than a gorilla’s. If anybody saw them I would have to make something up.
Probably tell them that I am suffering from a recessive family gene that was engineered at birth. It gives me the unfortunate ability to grow gorilla like hair all over my limbs. I could also tell them that it was a terminally ill disease.
At least they would think that I was actually going to die and wouldn’t make fun of me. If they knew the truth I would die of shame anyway. Okay, so there is nothing I can do about how fat I am. I mean, I’ve been skipping lunch for two weeks now and haven’t lost a god damned pound. The scale hates me. That must be it. Or maybe it is just getting revenge on me for standing on it and breaking every bone in its body. I don’t blame it really.
If I was skinny the guy that I like would actually see me as more than the girl who loves the smell of new library books and lighting Bunsen burners because it turns her on like only a set of hot abs could.
Boys would ask to switch to my coed P.E class just to get a glimpse of the babe in the blue short shorts. I would actually be able to fit into them then and not feel as if they are suffocating around my thighs.
Sigh. I wish that I was skinny.
Suddenly the mirror glowed bright. Brighter than the autumn sun. What the heck was going on? Did the physics lab install solar panels in the mirrors again? Damn nerds. Wait. I am one. Crap.
A moment later the mirror stopped glowing and in a flurry of sparkles and rainbow glitter a fairy appeared in the middle of the bathroom.
She was plump like a plum and had angelic wings. Her wand was long and silver and looked like a unicorn horn. She was garbed in a long dress made from white dragon scales and polar bear fur. The hem of the dress nearly touched the ground and every time she moved glitter and sparkle fell from the dress and dissipated in the atmosphere.
I asked, “Who are you?”
She smiled. “Why I’m your fairy godmother of course.”
“My fairy godmother?"
She nodded. "I’m here to grant you your wish.”
“You wished that you were skinny yes?”
“Oh that wish. Yes I do. I do very much. If I was skinny then nobody would make fun of me. I would actually be able to fit into the new clothes that I bought for myself. And Luke Walters would talk to me.”
“Why did you buy new clothes if you couldn’t fit into them?”
I sighed. “They were supposed to serve as motivation for when I lost the weight. Things aren’t going well though. I haven’t lost a pound. What was supposed to be helpful has turned out to be hurtful. I’ll never be skinny.”
“You can and you will. I’ve heard your wish and I am here to grant it.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I said and glanced towards the person I despised. “How can you make me skinny?”
“When you wake up tomorrow you will find that all of your problems will have washed away. Sleep well tonight. Your wish is my command.”
I smiled. “Oh thank you Fairy Godmother! I don’t know how I can ever repay you!”
“You will find out soon enough,” she said. “Now get to your next class. I have to answer the wish of a skinny girl who wishes she could put on some weight. Sleep well and dream well.”