Sleeping With My Married Ex

Epilogue

"You drive me insane." 

A smile. "I know." 

"I don't even know why I'm with you." 

"Because you love me," a simple statement of fact. 

"You loved me first." 

A shrug. "I already admitted that. So now what?" 

I groan. "Tell me what I'm doing wrong?" 

"You want my professional or personal opinion?" 

"If I pay you the $95, will you give me a solution, or will I simply be wasting my money." 

She stiffens. "So spending money for me is a waste?"

If I could bring myself to lay a finger on her in a bad way, I swear I would snap her neck right now. Women and their double edge swords. 

She pushes me over the edge. She drives me to my limit, but that's okay. It's just how she is. Her way of showing affection.

When she left for California I hated her. More so than I hated Tara. At least I thought I did for a few weeks. Tara was predictable, shallow. I always knew what to expect from her. Shannon hit me with a curve ball. How could she just leave and never contact me again? Painfully I'll admit that for a moment I felt... insecure?, like I wasn't good enough. Maybe I'm not. She's too good for me. I've always known that, but that's okay. I'm keeping her anyway. At least I'm trying to keep her. That's if she'll stop being a fucking pain in my ass already and accept it.

" You'll be twenty-seven next year. You're not getting any younger." She freezes, motionless. "Might as well do it while you'll still look...Ouch. Dammit." I rub the spot on my arm where that little fist made contact. "For such a tiny person, you're strong. Must be that stripper pole strength." She cocks her fist back again. I catch it before she's able to manage another hit. "You know I love you right?"

Her face softens into a smile. "I know." 

I kissed her fingertips. "You can continue to say no to me if you want, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm not letting you push me away either." I wrap one arm around her waist and tug her into my lap. She shifts into a comfortable position.  

"That's good to hear."

I smile and kiss her. My commitment phobic little minx. She's scared to death, but she tries so hard. Burying my face into her neck, I trail my lips over her shoulder. I unzip her jacket and slide my hand under her shirt. She twists, ticklish.

"It's cold out," she says, her face red.  

"Hmm. I'll keep you warm." 

"I'm sure you will." One hand rest against my neck.

I pull back momentarily. "I'm serious babe. If you keep denying me, I'll be forced to resort to drastic measures and blackmail you." 

Her left brow arches. "Oh? And what exactly with what?" 

I chuckle. "Not telling." 

She shifts until she straddles me and wiggle. I suck in a sharp breath. "Behave." 

She wiggled again, this time with a bit more force. "Tell me." 

I rest my hands on her hips. My lips sealed.  

She pouts. My heart pounds. "Pwease," she cries.  

"Say yes." 

"Tell me." 

"Say yes and I'll tell you."  

"Tell me and I'll say yes." 

I don't believe her. Not for a moment, but unlike her I can't deny her anything. Never could. Never will if I can help it.

I don't recall half as much stuff about us when we were teens. Then again, Shannon remembers all trivial bits but can't even recall what she ate for dinner. So...I don't remember a lot about back then, but I do remember one time in particular.

I'd just left out of Toya's house alone. It was late and I was suppose to meet my friends somewhere to go to a party. Shannon was sitting on the bench outside the building by herself. Usually one or more of her fake-ass friends were around. Twiddling her thumbs, she watched. Watched everyone. Listened to everything. She knew I was standing there, but she didn't say anything. She just watched and listen.

She was always silent when ever we were all around each other. Barely spoke unless spoken to. Maybe to her that had something to do with her self-esteem, but that wasn't it. She's the type of person who speaks only when she fully understands the situation. She doesn't talk just to hear herself talk. She can sit there for hours and just observe something, someone until she reaches a conclusion. I think that's finally when I started to understand her a bit. Sad that it took months to figure her out. She's manipulative.

She already knows what's going on, is aware of it before anyone else, and already knows how to reach the outcome she wants. I can't pull anything over her eyes. She already knows what i'm going to do before I do it, and puppets me to where she wants me.

But I know her just as well. The good. The bad. The ugly. I know what makes her laugh; Will Ferrell. Happy endings in children movies make her both cry and nauseous. She has a child-like fascination of magic and mythical creatures. The complete collection of Shakespeare and the Grimm's brothers collection is on her bookshelf right next to some sex filled demon series she loves to read. Dancing makes her happy. Chocolate is a gift from the gods to her. She hates children but wants six. ADHD-hyperfocus is her consistent companion. When she's really hungry she gets sick. Repetition of any form, whether it's her repeating herself or someone repeating something to her, is the fastest way to have her snatch out your throat. I can go on and on.

Our relationship has been anything but simple. There are times I could just explode, and I would, but I don't because I love her. In the end, there's nothing she can hide from me, or me from her. Which is why I lean in and whisper what it is that I'll use for blackmail.  

Shannon jumps back, my hands tighten on her hips to keep her from falling.

"That son of a bitch!" 

"You want me to beat him up for you?" I ask.  

She shakes her head, her eyes narrowing. I almost feel sorry for him. "No. I have a better idea." 

"That is?"

She giggles mischievously and rest her forehead against mine. "What size pumps do you think Warren wears?" 

Odd question. I shrug. "I don't know," I say as I pull her hat off and lace my fingers through her hair. "Why?" 

"Because I think I just found my maid of honor."

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

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