I got this thru an email, and thot it was funny. I have no problem with the twilight series, and to tell u the truth I really like it. But common this is hilarious. Any ways enjoy.
Bella is a perfect character ("Mary Sue"), which Meyer hides by calling her clumsy.
Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.
She can't do anything without Edward.
And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.
Meyer is living out her own fantasies by writing about Bella, who is clearly herself.
The books aren't well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn't make it good writing.
All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken by the end of the series.
Not only that, she breaks rules set by more esteemed authors.
The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will wait for their Edward to come until they are old. And he'll never come.
Bella almost dies fifty thousand times, but Edward always saves her. This is boring.
Edward is too perfect and has no flaws either. Even vampires should have flaws besides wanting to suck human blood because it's natural to them.
The reason the books became so popular is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.
If Bella is so 'plain', why do so many guys fall for her within the first two chapters?
Bella teaches women to let the man handle everything, which pretty much is a huge step backward for women everywhere, who have fought for equality.
Isn't it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn't question her? Real parents aren't that way.
Lack of character development.
Bella is a useless, whining, doll that suddenly has become the idol for girls everywhere.
People say that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Guess what? WRONG.
Edward is extremely possessive, border-line abusive, and boring as anything.
It's too cliché.
This book contains no real sex, so it's not really a vampire novel.
Read Anne Rice - those are vampires, not the girly men that Meyer has created.
You don't have to describe the character every two pages, we know all about Edward's 'perfectly toned chest' the fourth time she mentions it.
Bella reflects upon herself through the entire novel to tell important plot developments. Hey Meyer, ever heard of "Show, don't tell"?
She never uses the word fangs in the entire book series, and it's supposedly about vampire.
Her vampires sparkle. Enough said.
Supposedly Meyer never uses the word 'said' in the entire first book, instead using breath.
There is too much face touching.
It's predictable, and childish.
We read the entire series just to laugh at the stupidity of it.
Meyer can't think of original names. The only original name she used was Rennesme, which is combination of two names and doesn't count.
Vampires can't get people pregnant. SPOILER!
Vampire baseball was just a disgrace.
People think Meyer is the best writer ever.
The plot drags on forever, when it really could have been completed in two books.
Wow, yet another 'original' plot of forbidden love.
Why is it called the Twilight Series if only one book is titled Twilight?
It's too easy to mock. Go on Youtube, how many mocks on Twilight do you see?
They use a drug reference in a book written for ten-year-olds.
Stephanie Meyer creates some interesting characters ie: Jasper and Alice. She then ignores them, and gives them no development.
Every Other Facebook bumper sticker is about Twilight/Edward. EVERY OTHER ONE.
Fangirls are so blinded by their love for Edward that they don't realize the book is terrible.
Stephen King agrees that Stephanie Meyer can't write 'worth a darn'.
Bella is Edward's beard.
Meyer wrote four books about nothing, really.
Straight men sparkle?
It's teeming with grammatical errors.
Bella Swan means beautiful swan, which is horribly cheesy.
Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.
Do any guys actually like Twilight?
If the first 200 pages of your book rely on the mystery of a character's identity, don't slap "First, Edward was a vampire" on the back cover.
There's far too little actual conflict in the story. But this probably stems from having a flawless main character.
They fall in love way too quickly and it seems fake because no one falls in love instantly, especially teenagers.