Returning to Innocence [EDITING]

Chapter Seventeen

"Hey Scarlett! How was it?" my mum greeted me.

"Fine." I answered, still irritated that she made me come. We walked out to the car and got in, her immediately turning on the radio. She put it on the local station, and as we pulled out the mindless chatter of the hosts filled the car. I didn't recognise any of the songs they played as we drove through the rain. My day ahead wasn't filled with much. It was awkward with my parents, Peeta would ask about everything, probably causing me to have another breakdown; I couldn't see Alex. I was meant to distance myself from him. It would make my parents happier anyway.

The car pulled into the drive and I slowly got out of the car, still deep in thought. How would Alex react to this? He would hate me, even if he saw my reasoning. I could just imagine what he would say, how he would hold me in his arms...

I shook my head, annoyed with my thoughts. If I was trying to distance myself from him, that sort of thing wouldn't happen. I sighed again. It was all so complicated.

I knew I liked Alex more than I should, more than was good for me. Yet with him, I was changing. I felt so safe with him, as if nothing would ever hurt me. I didn't even get that feeling with my parents. However, if I stayed close to him, it would hurt both of us. I couldn't kiss him no matter how much I wanted to. My mind went back to Him kissing me and I shuddered, suddenly realising I was in my room. I didn't even know I'd come upstairs.

I was too messed up to make anyone properly happy. I couldn't hold them, or accompany them out. I couldn't help them with anything. I was too scared to leave the house most of the time, I had nightmares every night. I was a wreck. I couldn't be with anyone.

I sighed, knowing that I over thought everything. Turning my iPod on in the process, I grabbed a book and began to read. The words on the page filled my head and I forgot all about my previous thoughts. The soothing sounds of My Chemical Romance and Green Day played in the background and I stayed in the same position for hours.

"Scarlett! Come down for dinner!" My mum yelled and I sighed. I was right at the climax of my book and I hadn't read this one before. Turning the corner of the page over, I traipsed downstairs. Three plates were on the table and I picked at mine, making it look like I'd eaten more than I had. My parents chatted about little things, occasionally attempting to bring me into the conversation. Each attempt failed however, because I didn't want to be here.

At the end, I cleared my plate and returned to my room to finish the book. I changed the music to Panic! At The Disco and lay on my bed to read. I finished the book fairly quickly, kept on edge until the end. Placing it on my shelf, I stared around my room wondering what to do. My phone had been off all day, but I didn't see any point in turning it on now. If I went to sleep, I would just wake up before my parents went to bed and then they would get suspicious. I turned on my television and began to flick through the channels, finally settling on something called Doctor Who.

It turned out to be really good, about an alien who saved the world. They were showing repeats so I watched the three episodes which were on. I was tired before so I finally decided to sleep, seeing as it was 12:30am. As my eyelids closed, I was dreading the nightmare tonight.

(Dream/Flashback)

"I'm sorry." I whispered to the child on the floor next to me. I didn't know if he was dead or just unconscious. It would be better if he was dead, then he wouldn't have to suffer anymore. My legs wouldn't work properly, so I couldn't move him. I just stroked his hair and tried to make him as comfortable as possible before he woke up.

"Oh Princess!" the man hollered, bursting through the door at the end of the room. I ignored him, still watching the little child on the floor. "Oy! Bitch! Answer when I speak to you!" He pulled me up by my hair and I screeched, trying to ease the pain off of my burning scalp. When he dropped me, I hit the floor with a loud slap, wincing as my face collided with the floor.

"Hi." I answered dryly.

"You need to learn some respect." He stood up. "I'll be back soon. Don't miss me too much." I shook my head in disgust as he walked out of the room, seeming oddly cheerful. A feeling of dread sat in the pit of my stomach as I waited for what was coming.

Hours later the door opened again. "I'm back! Did you miss me? I brought a friend!" There were two people this time- one the same man as before, and a new one who was taller and thinner. The new one walked over to me and grabbed my arms, keeping them behind my back. I struggled, screaming and yelling at him to let me go. He just smirked.

"I'd stop struggling if I were you." he whispered into my ear. "I'm trained with the knife in my pocket." I sighed and relaxed my muscles, watching what the other man was doing to the child.

"Now watch this." The usual man said, pulling a knife out of his pocket. He plunged it deep into his chest and dragged it through the skin. Blood sprayed out, and the knife was soaked red. He kept making gashes, before plunging his hand inside the boys chest. I gagged and tried to turn away, but my captor snapped my head back.

"Your meant to watch this bit." The other man pulled skin out from the boys chest, blood dripping onto the grey stone floor.

(Present)

I bolted upright, gasping as usual. My hand went immediately to my mouth and I ran to the bathroom, throwing up inn the toilet almost immediately. When I left, I crept back to my room in the hope of not being heard. Flopping on my bed, I groaned quietly. The images from my memory were still fresh ion my mind. They were so graphic, so real... I shuddered. I didn't want to go back down that road. I just wanted to start the next day right.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So... you like? You love? Tell me please, I need the feedback. Oh and guys guess what.

I GOT ON WHATS HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NUMBER 174 :)

I love all of you who made that happen- I never expected it to be so popular! So thankyou to everyone who voted, commented or just read it. I will never be able to show my gratitude to you because... well I don't know most of you. Thanks again!

COMMENT

VOTE

FAN

LIKE

TWEET

RAVE

:P