Let It Be Me

Chapter Eleven - In The End What Did I Get? A lot Of Tears That Made Me All Wet

I made my way to the same bench I sat on two months ago when I first found out he was leaving. It's amazing how so much had happened in just a few months. A few weeks ago I was a socially impaired girl who was afraid of everyone who had tried to talk to me. Cried every time I thought of Calvin. Hated my Mother. Hated my 'friends' and hated pretty much everything. But now? Yes, I still feel upset but It's a different kind of pain. It's like a part of me just got taken away from me. I tilted my head a little and closed my eyes. Absorbing the sun like a person who has never seen sun before. After all this, I realized one thing.

Love, is just a game of lies and You just get hurt. But that doesn't mean you should give up your life. No, that's the opposite. Love is just a small part of who you are. You are you. And nobody else is like you out there.

“Hey Miranda! Sorry for keeping you waiting! Ready for class now?”

I slowly opened my eyes and smiled. Oliver is the reason I'm still alive. He opened my eyes and made me realize I wasn't alone. Everyone at this school was struggling with their own problems and to overcome it. You need to learn to accept yourself.

I picked up my bag from the floor and swung it over my shoulder. I concentrate a lot more in class now and I'm getting a lot better. Oliver has recovered for a while now but he's not leaving yet. He said that he's going to wait until I'm better so we can start our new lives together. He's like my new best friend. It feels nice to have friends. I guess I just forgot what it felt like after so many years of solitude.

I turned to look at him. I stared at how his golden hair shined in the sunlight and how he had a dimple when he talked. A lot of girls had crushes on him and we were often called a 'couple' but he never showed interest in any of the girls and he always seemed to look at me for an answer when people asked if we were together.

He noticed me staring at him and stared at me back curiously.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” He asked rubbing his face with his hand. I shook my head and laughed looking away. My eyes started to look around and my mind drifted off. Then suddenly, a very familiar looking person caught my eyes. Dark hair, green eyes. No. It can't be! Ignoring Oliver's calls I began to walk into the direction of the person. Could it be him? He's back so fast already? No. I don't believe that. It takes more time than that right? Just when I was about to walk away the boy turned around completely and I took a good look at his face. I shook my head slightly and walked back. It wasn't him.

“What happened?!” Oliver asked standing at the exact same position with a confused expression. One that looked super adorable on him.

“Oh. Nothing. I thought I saw something” I said back mentally sighing and praying he wouldn't drag it any further. Fortunately, he didn't and he walked me to Dr Checkland class.

Dr Checkland talked to us about ourselves today. He told us to find 3 things we liked about ourselves and to write a poem about it. I struggled as I could only find two things. One was Oliver, he was my best friend and he made me happy so I liked that. Two I'm starting to like my hair and I know it sounds strange but I'm not obsessing over myself, I'm merely just accepting who I am. My hair was a dark brown color but because of my constant sun absorbing it has turned into a really light chestnut color and it looked...nice. He said that 'Oliver' wasn't really a part of myself but he let me off when I couldn't think of anything else for half the class so I just drifted off. 

The bell rang and I stood up about to leave when someone grabbed my arm. My muscles tensed up and I turned around slowly only to find a very nervous looking Jenny. Everything about that night at the party smacked me in the face.

“What do you want?” I asked coldly clenching my jaw.

“Um. Hi Mi-miranda. I-I'm sorry about that day...I realized that I was wrong but you have to believe me about his parents!” I closed my eyes and sucked in air through my nose. Forgiveness, I thought to myself.

“Look. I'm sorry too Jenny and you were right about his um...parents. I'm sorry for not believing you but what you said about Calvin before just...” It's amazing how I can say Calvin's name so easily now. It still hurt me a bit but it was different from when I say his name. Every time I hear someone say his name a part of me dies a little.

“I know. I'm so sorry and thanks Miranda. You really have changed. I hope you the very best and goodbye.” Jenny began to pick up her things and I could see from her shaking hands that she wasn't going to forgive herself. I wasn't ready to help her. I know it sounds bad but I just...cant. I gave her one last look before leaving the classroom. Oliver was waiting for me as usual. Sat down on the ground with his sandwich and a carton of milk. I smiled at how adorable he was.

“Hey Oli!” I called out. His eyes widened and a huge grin appeared on his face making me smile back too. “I see you've got your usual boring lunch! I'm starved lets go to the canteen!” He smiled and nodded. It was moments like these that made me genuinely content. I realized that the biggest lesson in life, was learning to let go of things and not let the past drag you. Because the good things in life don't always stay and we just have to enjoy every moment of it before it goes. Oliver's hand moved around his side and found mine. For some reason I let him. I could feel hard stares and hatred in every girl we past by but that wasn't new to me anymore so I just smiled and continued to walk. When we were about to reach the canteen, the women who I was first introduced to when I came to this school approached us. She did not look pleased.

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