Password Incorrect
Password Incorrect
by Nick Name
2008
Table of Content
Brain Cell
Wishes Shovel Best
A Man Called Desk
Mini-Anti-Aggressor
Part-Time Evening Elementary School
Happiness in a Four-pack
Childult
Micro-hockey
Fetus Replacement IQ Booster
Kefir on a Very Bad Day
Nose Number 32
The Language of Worldwide Communication
An Inquisition-Style Massage
Puddle Skin Care
Abnormales
All-in-One EveryToy
Mr. Copypaste
Parachute No Limit
Coma Longer Than Expected
Snoboholic
An Impulse Purchase
Ul Fas Spe Rea Course
The Robotic Intelligence Test
Soup A Priori
An Orbital Flight With a Small Surprise
Introduction
Password Incorrect is a selection of my 30 best tech-absurd, mobile fiction stories. Sometimes funny and sometimes mean, they're addressing the world of the contemporary mobile reader... and spot the absurd of our present day lives: fights with the less and less comprehensible equipment, pursuit of the latest technological news, pitfalls of our modern lifestyle, useless inventions and issues racing in all directions at a breakneck speed. A lot of entertainment and a little food for thought.
Court Merrigan from TeleRead wrote: "You not likely come across anything quite like Password Incorrect any time soon. Unless this work receives the wide audience it deserves and imitators spring up."
Brain Cell
Because this story will be painfully banal, it will be also painfully short.
Peter Maria Kedzierzyna of the Tschekan coat-of-arms bought himself the newest model of a 25th generation cell phone from Siemens-BenQ-Nokia-LG ABC 123, incorporating all achievements of the human race up to the time when Bill Gates became an honorary president of the United States.
Of Tschekan coat-of-arms, a manager in an important department of an important software company spent two whole weeks inputting all data relevant in his life. And not just phone and address data. He included all codes, PINs, passwords, e-mail addresses and the many ways they could be configured, parents' names, first and last names of distant relatives and degrees of relationship, important dates, blood type, date of birth, social security number, driver license and passport numbers, bank accounts, top ten of his favorite books, films, CDs, gourmet dishes, golf courses, works by modern painters, ancestral silver and European palaces, in rococo style. He also added the top ten of exotic countries and places he wanted to visit.
After two weeks, Peter of Tschekan realized that the cell phone was more valuable to him than a painting by de Bonnet-Majak - the number one artist on his list. He decided to protect the cell phone with an additional password, which was: *****.
Just in case, he set up a second password to secure files containing, what he called, "personally strategic data." He added both passwords into the cell phone, just in case.
One day, during a conversation with a certain lady, he accidentally scratched his beloved cell phone. Even though the scratch was tiny, it broke his heart and haunted him for two weeks. It drove Kedzierzyna of Tschekan to despair and to an after-therapy conclusion that he lived too intensely and needed to calm his frenzied mind. He was playing with the cell phone when by accident the top ten list of exotic places appeared.
"Nepal," of Tschekan read, and two days later was sitting on a plane to Katmandu.
He left the cell phone in a luggage locker at the airport, so the side wouldn't get scratched.
Three months later he was back, picked up the phone and couldn't remember the password, which was: *****.
Soon, people noticed a tourist with a backpack, wandering around the park and repeating over and over an assortment of five-letter words. The man didn't remember his name and wasn't able to explain where he lived.
Wishes Shovel Best
On Christmas Eve Slawek Przekosniak received an SMS with these wishes: Wishing yo good ping super new". He didn't know who sent him that surprisingly enigmatic message. And he doesn't know to this day. A pity, because thanks to that person he reached his current status and number 67 on the list of the wealthiest Poles.
Back then, during that beautiful, rusty white Christmas Eve night, Przekosniak, who was rudely kicked out from a social network for utopian fanatics of extreme phobias (www.ilovefobia.pl) just a few days earlier, got an idea.
It was a quite good idea too, and the next SMS ("All at cart by unintentionally only honest lamb") convinced him it was the best idea of his life.
by Nick Name
2008
Table of Content
Brain Cell
Wishes Shovel Best
A Man Called Desk
Mini-Anti-Aggressor
Part-Time Evening Elementary School
Happiness in a Four-pack
Childult
Micro-hockey
Fetus Replacement IQ Booster
Kefir on a Very Bad Day
Nose Number 32
The Language of Worldwide Communication
An Inquisition-Style Massage
Puddle Skin Care
Abnormales
All-in-One EveryToy
Mr. Copypaste
Parachute No Limit
Coma Longer Than Expected
Snoboholic
An Impulse Purchase
Ul Fas Spe Rea Course
The Robotic Intelligence Test
Soup A Priori
An Orbital Flight With a Small Surprise
Introduction
Password Incorrect is a selection of my 30 best tech-absurd, mobile fiction stories. Sometimes funny and sometimes mean, they're addressing the world of the contemporary mobile reader... and spot the absurd of our present day lives: fights with the less and less comprehensible equipment, pursuit of the latest technological news, pitfalls of our modern lifestyle, useless inventions and issues racing in all directions at a breakneck speed. A lot of entertainment and a little food for thought.
Court Merrigan from TeleRead wrote: "You not likely come across anything quite like Password Incorrect any time soon. Unless this work receives the wide audience it deserves and imitators spring up."
Brain Cell
Because this story will be painfully banal, it will be also painfully short.
Peter Maria Kedzierzyna of the Tschekan coat-of-arms bought himself the newest model of a 25th generation cell phone from Siemens-BenQ-Nokia-LG ABC 123, incorporating all achievements of the human race up to the time when Bill Gates became an honorary president of the United States.
Of Tschekan coat-of-arms, a manager in an important department of an important software company spent two whole weeks inputting all data relevant in his life. And not just phone and address data. He included all codes, PINs, passwords, e-mail addresses and the many ways they could be configured, parents' names, first and last names of distant relatives and degrees of relationship, important dates, blood type, date of birth, social security number, driver license and passport numbers, bank accounts, top ten of his favorite books, films, CDs, gourmet dishes, golf courses, works by modern painters, ancestral silver and European palaces, in rococo style. He also added the top ten of exotic countries and places he wanted to visit.
After two weeks, Peter of Tschekan realized that the cell phone was more valuable to him than a painting by de Bonnet-Majak - the number one artist on his list. He decided to protect the cell phone with an additional password, which was: *****.
Just in case, he set up a second password to secure files containing, what he called, "personally strategic data." He added both passwords into the cell phone, just in case.
One day, during a conversation with a certain lady, he accidentally scratched his beloved cell phone. Even though the scratch was tiny, it broke his heart and haunted him for two weeks. It drove Kedzierzyna of Tschekan to despair and to an after-therapy conclusion that he lived too intensely and needed to calm his frenzied mind. He was playing with the cell phone when by accident the top ten list of exotic places appeared.
"Nepal," of Tschekan read, and two days later was sitting on a plane to Katmandu.
He left the cell phone in a luggage locker at the airport, so the side wouldn't get scratched.
Three months later he was back, picked up the phone and couldn't remember the password, which was: *****.
Soon, people noticed a tourist with a backpack, wandering around the park and repeating over and over an assortment of five-letter words. The man didn't remember his name and wasn't able to explain where he lived.
Wishes Shovel Best
On Christmas Eve Slawek Przekosniak received an SMS with these wishes: Wishing yo good ping super new". He didn't know who sent him that surprisingly enigmatic message. And he doesn't know to this day. A pity, because thanks to that person he reached his current status and number 67 on the list of the wealthiest Poles.
Back then, during that beautiful, rusty white Christmas Eve night, Przekosniak, who was rudely kicked out from a social network for utopian fanatics of extreme phobias (www.ilovefobia.pl) just a few days earlier, got an idea.
It was a quite good idea too, and the next SMS ("All at cart by unintentionally only honest lamb") convinced him it was the best idea of his life.
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