Chapter 17- The Truth Is Hard To Understand

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Chapter 17

The truth is hard to understand



As I reached my house I fished out my keys from my pocket and sighed. My mum will most likely shout at me as soon as I walk in, asking questions, pretending like she actually gives a crap about me. I stood there for what seemed like ages, thinking about the events that have happened today. Did Vanessa love Jess that much, that she'd give her up for me, just to give her happiness? I really thought she would shout in my face, tell me I'm a horrible person for taking the one thing away from her, which keeps her happy. But I guess I can't be sorry for her, after all, she did tell everyone I'm gay and has now, probably ruined my life.

However, I couldn't help but think about Jess, she's fragile too, she may not seem like it, but she is; her eyes show fear, they show me confusion and regret. I didn't notice it before because I was too busy enjoying her company and finding more things about her. Jess was amazing, funny, charming and she knew how to cheer me up without even trying. It's just that, now I know everything that's gone on between her and Vanessa, I know that I'm standing in the way of her happiness without even wanting to be in the way. I sighed frustrated, and walked up to my door, just as I was about to open it, my mum stood there glaring in my direction, the door opened all the way now.

"Where have you been? The school phoned and said you were no longer present, have you been ditching school again? You know what happened last time, you got kicked out your last school because of ditching" I rolled my eyes at my mother and brushed past her, taking my coat off and walking up the stairs to my room. Ignoring her as she continued to point out the fact that I was kicked out my old school for ditching, oh, and that I'm in trouble.

"Katie, get back down here now, we need to speak and I'm going to tell your father" She screamed, still standing at the bottom of the stairs as I finally reached the top of them. I stopped in my tracks and closed my eyes for a second. I hate when she used my father as an excuse to punish me, he wasn't here anymore and he never even tried to be here. So why should I be afraid of him. I saw him every weekend on a Saturday, that was the only time I saw him, and it lasted for around five or ten minutes.

I turned around and stared at my mother, her now red cheeks turned even darker as she fumed about my behavior. I was never a bad kid, I always did what I was told to do, I cleaned my room, I even sometimes washed the dishes for my mum, knowing how sick she got sometimes. But this was too much, her drinking, fighting with her boyfriend all the time, screaming in my face for things my brother has done, and now me. I couldn't take it anymore; she was on her own now.

"What do you care? Tell my father, all he ever does is work, it's not like he cares about me is it? Who's the one he picks up every Saturday to spend time with him? Not me, so why should I care whether or not he comes down to shout in my face? In fact, call him, it'd probably be the only time I'll see him for a long time." I shouted, watching as my mother gazed at the floor, looking as if she was sorry for what my father has put me through, what she has put me through all of these years. But I wasn't finished yet, and I knew what I was about to say next would kill her, but I was too angry to stop myself from raging out at her, from showing my true feelings. 

I walked down there stairs slightly and walked back to the bottom, standing near her but not to near as I knew she would hate me for saying this, but it needed to be said.

"All you care about is your stupid boyfriend and that stupid alcohol of yours, you don't care about me, you're too busy getting drunk every night and pretending you're a good mother, you're not a good mother! You leave me alone in this house all the time to look after my brother, you even disappeared for a week the one time, how can you stand there and tell me what to do. What I have done wrong, when you have..." But before I could even finish, I felt a sharp sting across my cheek. I looked up at my mother and saw the anger raging through her eyes, tears begging to come out. 

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