chapter twenty-one
Dear journal,
zayn invited me to the annual cabin party trip... I can't believe it. winter is upon us and I get to the go to the popular cabin party. which to be honest doesn't seem as fun as it did before. now that i'm invited i really don't want to be part of it. i mean what does a blind guy do at a party? i haven't been to party... did i ever tell you that. it's not like pity thing i don't want people to feel like "aw that's sad" or like "that's pathetic." because my excuse is i'm blind and i can't really just go straight to the booze. i struggle in new places so i need a guide. so that's my excuse. for this trip i just want zayn all for myself. selfish? sure. but whatever...
good luck to you, liam. x
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"Let me take your bag," Zayn said as he was taking my bag from my hand while my other gripped by walking-cane.
I stood on the porch as I heard Zayn throw the bag into the trunk of the car. His footsteps then began to approach me and my free hand, where the suit case once was, became intertwined with Zayn's fingers. He guided me down the stairs of my home's porch, which I knew by heart, but you know I didn't mind some hand holding. He then led me to the passenger seat of the car and kissed my forehead.
He then opened the drivers door and we were on our way to the mountains.
The whole trip consisted of laughing, loudly playing music with the windows down, him telling me the sights and what was around us, falling asleep and doing pit stops. Personally my favorite parts were doing pit stops and walking around and stretching. I also liked singing along. It was all just a really, really good time. As good as road trips get.
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"Wakey, wakey, we're here!" Zayn said in a fumbled voice due to the fact that I was barely gaining consciousness back.
I got out of the car and my bags apparently were already inside and all that Zayn was waiting for was me.
"So, I'll guide you around the cabin so you can get familiar with it. No one else is staying in it, so it's just us so you don't have to worry about that... Um... A cook does come in the afternoon if I call for it and then at night we can just get take out and the mornings cereal... Um... um... yeah anything else..." Zayn's voice fumbled nervously as if trying to make me feel comfortable, it was really cute.
"Sounds good." Was all I replied.
Zayn took me by the hand as I moved my walking-cane around, when it hit something I would let go of Zayn's hand and I would touch it. After doing that for a while I got really familiar with it.
From what I got his cabin is massive, I always thought cabins were one story or two at most, made of cute wood logs and a sofa and a tv and a kitchen and a bedroom and that was it. But this cabin was huge! There was a section with a fire place, a rug and a sofa, another section with a flatscreen, sofas and a pinball machine, then there was the huge kitchen with utensils and machines that I had no idea what they were from what I felt, then there were lots of hallways, lots of staircases that led to infinite numbers of stories. There was a underground movie theater place, outside there was tanning bed a jacuzzi an outdoor fireplace and a barbecue machine. According to Zayn, the scenery was a lake, that was currently frozen and that you could see the sun set at around six.
All I said to Zayn was, "If this is your cabin, I don't think I have the mental capacity to imagine what your actual house looks like."
Zayn just chuckled, but deep down I felt kind of uncomfortable. Not that people with money make me uncomfortable, it's just that... I don't know... I don't want Zayn to feel like I'm a burden or a pity as to how my mom and I are struggling financially because of my disability... I don't know how to explain it to myself. I just felt... odd. And Zayn felt it too. I know it.
